If you're alive and breathing, then you have seen the dozens of articles telling us 20-somethings the 10, 15, 20 and even 100 things we “need to know.” I’m all for words of wisdom. If I could leave a note to my 16-year-old self with things I wish I had known, it would have saved me a lot of stress and heartache.  

The thing is, that would be me -- now 21 -- telling my younger self things I know now that I didn’t know five years ago. Today, the articles written for 20-somethings are written by other 20-somethings.

As 20-something college students, recent graduates and almost actual grownups, we are all experiencing the same things: stress, newfound freedom and confusion about love, life and our future. So, how is a 23-year-old going to tell the rest of 20-somethings what they should know? They haven’t even experienced half of their 20s yet.         

Sure, you were heartbroken, fired, failed a class and got into a fight with your roommate, but since when does that make you the guru of being a 20-something? If I am taking advice about how to live life in my 20s, I want that advice from a 40, 50 or 60 year-old who has lived their 20s and has had time to reflect back, enough to know how to live it the right way.

Don’t get me wrong; some of the lists are pretty good. They include things such as “don’t be selfish” and “don’t care too much about what other people think of you, just love yourself and be happy.” These are great, and I try to abide by this advice. However, some advice such as “nothing good happens after 3 a.m.” and “don’t date unless you think you may fall in love” fall short of things I believe to be true.        

Some of my best memories are running around my college town or house with my best friends at 4 a.m. because we’re having too much fun to go to sleep, even if we are just eating, drinking wine, chatting and watching Grey’s Anatomy. As far as dating goes, I took a chance on someone I thought I had no interest in and it turned into a six-year relationship. So, no offense, but I beg to differ with a few items of advice we are being fed.     

As 20-somethings, we are young, free (for the most part) and should live up every second before we have jobs that occupy 90 percent of our time and a wife or husband and kids who occupy the other 10 percent. 

I say we stop taking advice from other 21 year-olds, who think they are the 20-something whisperer, and start giving ourselves advice that will help us become the person we will be happy about when we are 55, giving our 20-something year-old kids guidance. 

Here is my list for the 20-something I hope to be and advice that I’ve gotten from older family members and friends that I try my best to follow. Feel free to steal some pearls of wisdom or be inspired to come up with some on your own. 

1. Don’t write someone off if you don’t get along right away. Give everyone a chance. Everyone has a story.      

2. Dating is not waste of time. If he’s cute and makes you laugh, say yes to a drink or dinner, but don’t string him along.      

3. Stop looking for Prince Charming, a more realistic version of him will eventually show up.      

4. Allow yourself time to grieve a break-up. There is no timeline and proper way to get over someone. Don’t beat yourself up if you still think of him or her every now and again.     

5. You need to curse less. A lot less.     

6. Don’t do anything you would be embarrassed to have on the front page of the newspaper.      

7. Find a friend you can trust your sisters’ lives with.   

8. Every decision has a consequence -- some of them might not appear for another five years.    

9. You will have bad days. Acknowledge them, fix the negatives and vow to be better tomorrow. 

10. Forgive people who have hurt you. Holding onto anger doesn’t hurt them, it just hurts you.       

11. Sometimes, great things happen at 3 a.m.

Make a list that works for you and promise your future self that you will be the 20-something that is best for you.