Recently I learned that my old high school approved the creation of a "Meninist" club, which has been earning a lot of flack for transphobic and misogynistic actions and comments. While the area of Orange County that I'm from has never been one for inclusiveness and progressive thought, I had high hopes for the peers, and teachers, I left behind. I'm not surprised that a meninist club would have a negative effect on my former high school's community. I'm not surprised that the club was popular and had members. I'm not even surprised that the club was approved by the administration. But there's something about knowing that my brand of angry feminism didn't have the effect that I was hoping for on my old campus that rubs me the wrong way. So in an effort to put my two cents into the public debate, I did my research and I'd like to pose a few questions to the meninists of my old high school and beyond.
Firstly, what rights for men are you fighting for? The rights of male victims of rape and abuse who aren't taken seriously by support groups and safe houses? The rights of men suffering from mental illness who are told to "man up" and "get over it"? Or what about the rights of queer men who are being kicked out of their homes and ending up on the streets before they even turn 18? While we're on that subject, who fits into your definition of a man? Are you working off of identity or genitalia? How do you address the topic of toxic masculinity? Do you even address it at all?
Because it really seems like you’re just here to undermine the centuries of work that feminists have fought and given up their lives for. Many of the inequalities that meninism claims to fight against are often addressed feminist theory (the draft, childcare, as well as all the above mentioned issues), but you actively attack feminist thinkers for their beliefs. There are many problems with modern feminism that need to be addressed (transphobia, racism, and other prejudices that are too often present within feminist groups), but the only one you seem to be attacking is that you’re being put in the “friend-zone” because a girl is not interested in your advances.
However you do fight some noble fights. Many meninist organizations address the topic of male body image and bring up important points about the media’s portrayal the ideal body. These are fine discussions to be having, but is it necessary to attack feminists who feel just as strongly about the same topic? May I remind you that many of the same magazines that praised male celebrities with “dad-bod” also attacked female celebrities for a similar body type? Women are getting the short end of the stick here.
But perhaps you’re bothered by the name. “Feminism” does imply a focus on the feminine, and that’s on purpose. It is femininity, in all genders, that is seen as weaker, less important, or less valuable. Because masculinity is valued above femininity, a fight for equality among the genders should put its focus on the feminine. You’re growing up now. It’s time to learn how to share your toys.
Sincerely,
A Disappointed Alum
