"Welcome to Missouri, where the weather is made up and the seasons don't matter." Welcome to Missouri, where you might experience four seasons in one week one day, and wear flip flops all throughout December and snow boots in July. The meteorologists here suffer at the hands of violently angry parents who planned an outdoor birthday party in August but cancelled suddenly because a surprise blizzard or confused travelers who booked a winter vacation here expecting snow and instead receiving sunny and 75 summer weather. Seriously, Missouri, get it together. Here are 11 all too real struggles of living in the Midwestern beauty many of us call home (or Misery).
1. False hopes about snow.
Non-Missouri Residents: We should have a white Christmas when visiting our relatives in Missouri this holiday season!
Missouri residents:
2. When it rains, the entire state forgets how to drive.
The weather forecast suggests a wet week! *Sighs internally* Looks like I'll need to leave an hour and a half early to arrive on time anywhere.
3. Shorts and flip-flops in January and snow boots in June.
4. Leaving the house with a coat on in the morning and taking it off after an hour because its now 80 degrees outside.
5. School's being called off because of 1" of snow on some days but still going on days when the roads are coated in ice.
6. Extremely conflicting indoor temperatures because the heat might be turned on because it should be cold out but its really 75 degrees outside.
7. Never trusting the forecasts enough to plan an outdoor party/excursion.
We're supposed to go swimming today but suddenly there's a tornado warning. Nevermind then!
Yeah, this would probably occur naturally in Misery Missouri.
8. We wanted a white Christmas NOT a wet Christmas.
9. August being so unbearably hot that you question your existence every single minute you're outdoors.
Baseball games become unenjoyable, the zoo is no longer an option, and even a trip to Ted Drewe's requires proper hydration and preparation for the trip outside.
10. Don't forget the humidity here.
Humidity: (h)yo͞oˈmidədē/ noun
1. The worst state of weather once can ever experience.
2. A nightmare for curly haired folks.
11. Absolutely NEVER dressing properly anywhere, anytime, and even if/when you move out of Missouri. Because after all, there could be a surprise blizzard mid-May.
Even though the weather makes absolutely no sense and there's a bigger likelihood that you'll be swimming outdoors on Christmas not sledding, living in Missouri is like no other. We have awesome sports teams, free things galore, and we're home of the wackiest weather this side of the Mississippi. Besides, normal weather is so mainstream.
