Is our self worth synonymous with a number?
Something that cannot be felt, touched or heard? Something that could never directly cause physical harm, but is yet attributed to so much pain? Something so intangible, yet so concrete that it can be consuming?
How have we become so obsessed with chasing an ambiguous ideal of perfection that we have forgotten how lucky we are to simply occupy space on this earth?
Since the 8th grade I, and 91% of the women in this country, a staggering statistic according to www.dosomething.org, have allowed the scale to define us. The higher the number the scale spits out, the lower the self-confidence, and vice versa. It's a wretched, inverse relationship we have created between the two, and in the pursuit of perfection, we often put all other things on hold.
It becomes an addiction and the weight displayed on the scale is no longer an intangible number, but rather becomes a weight on your shoulders.
I was only 13. Ponchos and Crocs had only recently, and thankfully, gone out of style when I decided the body I was given was not good enough. I decided that eating less was okay. I decided to relinquish the grasp I had on a healthy life and dove headfirst into a realm of rampant body image issues. The less I ate, the more self-control I thought I was exhibiting, and the hunger I felt was validation that I was strong.
But I was wrong. I was so wrong. Thankfully, I had a good friend knock some sense into me and pull me out of the depths of self-destruction before things became too serious, but not everyone is so lucky.
When was the last time you heard a group of girls get together and talk about their bodies in a positive light rather than body bash themselves? Never? Same here. It's sickeningly satisfying to point out our flaws to each other- to talk about our love handles and stretch marks and dimpled thighs-to tear ourselves down rather than build ourselves up.
But we can change. We can stop obsessing over models on Instragram and comparing our everyday selves to their highlight reels. We can realize our mirror image is just a mere image, and that we were placed on this earth to have a bigger ambition than just having a thigh gap. We are not simply just a bunch of body parts strewn together-so why do we only focus on these things? We are human beings that cannot allow ourselves to be defined by something as menial as a number. We have experiences and stories and memories that, when compiled together, make us who we are.
We must change our mindset. I will be the first to admit that I have days in which I don't feel confident in my body and I allow it to eat away at my thoughts, but these are at my lowest points. I've come to realize that beauty is not only attributed to our physical features. Beauty is ours to define, because after all, our bodies merely serve to house our souls. If you have a heart that is beating and lungs that can breathe, be grateful. You are alive.
So forget the Freshman 15. Eat good food. Nourish your body. Exercise often. Let go of the urge to body shame. Empower each other and love yourself like you have never loved before, because THAT is real strength. Self worth is undefined and subjective to each individual, but what I can tell you is that it goes deeper than the numbers and statistics, and ultimately it up to you to determine your worth.
I hope you deem yourself worthy.
