It is said that there is no such thing as new plots. Everything you read has been written millions of times before, across acres of papers and thousands of laptop screens. To an extent we can see this coming through today, with the emergence of another “Cinderella” movie, March of 2015, and a live-action “Beauty and the Beast” set to be released in 2017. Many filmmakers seem to have thrown in the towel when it comes to imagining their own take on classic films. Personally? I think “Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters,” while an absolute flop on Rotten Tomatoes at a roaring 15 percent approval rating from critics and a slightly better 52 percent from audience members, took a real step in the right direction.

Why simply plod along with the regular course of a fairy tale or commonly known myth when you can do something absolutely ridiculously amazing just because? Which is why I bring you the five films I want to see released in the coming decade.

1. Persephone Queen of the Underworld

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty tired of seeing our fair daughter of Demeter presented as some wailing damsel in distress who ate the forbidden seeds because she was just too weak to know better. I want a Persephone who loved Hades as much as she loved to rule. I want one who called out to him to come and fetch her from the burn of the sunlight and laughed as the spectrals of his kingdom bowed before them. I want one who gorged herself on the fruit of his lands until her fingers were stained blood red. Give me a cold queen not a wilting flower.

2. Little Red Riding Hood: Zombie Hunter

Okay, before anyone says this is a stretch, think about how long Granny was sitting in the wolf’s stomach. That lady was not coming out alive. Think of the distress poor little Red must have faced watching her shamble around half-digested and then standing witness to the woodman beheading our dear Granny as she lunged after the little girl’s brains. I can see that starting a lifelong career of going after zombies before they can traumatize anyone else.

3. The Zeus and Hera Show

Good portions of the Greek myths start with Zeus seducing someone while his wife looks on in fury. Honestly, it’s really more of a running gag at this point. So give me a movie that’s entirely about Zeus trying to "get it on" in a series of increasingly ridiculous ploys while Hera schemes up ways to make him pay mercilessly. Who said Greek mythology is always serious, all the time? Really, who? Have they even read them?

4. The Seven Dwarves vs. Social Conventions

Seven brothers living alone in a house in the forest passes under the radar just fine until a princess lives with them for a few weeks. Then all the kingdom's eyes fasten on their every doing. Suddenly all their dwarven neighbors want to know when they’re going to get married and have kids to provide playmates for the upcoming Royal Baby. Let’s explore the idea of happiness in platonic relationships misunderstood in a sex-based society through a metaphor of talking animals and singing.

5. Aphrodite is the Little Mermaid

While we’re covering myths and fairy tales why not smash them together into a sandwich of fun? Both women come from the sea, both are adopted into new families they’re not blood related to. Technically, Aphrodite does get the guy at the end. Really, she gets all the guys. So lets see a production of Aphrodite seducing the prince while Ariel holds her own on Mount Olympus. Come on, I'm waiting.