As writing majors, we've all experienced this conglomeration of joyful and occasionally not-so-joyful experiences (although mostly joyful, of course). Writers, unite! (Take that, STEM majors!)
1. When someone asks if you realize that you’re “basically majoring in poverty.”
Have no fears, I am well aware of the shithole I have dug for myself. But, in all honesty, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, undergrad creative writing majors actually earn above the national average salary. The average starting salary is about $37K, but past that, technical writers usually get $72K and authors, $68K.
2. When you start to take a break from work and a friend says, “Wow, you have so much free time as a humanities major.”
Try writing a short story or a sonnet or, God forbid, a sestina. It will not be as quick as you think it'll be.
3. When people think your grades are massively inflated and your classes are all fluff grades.
It's true that the national average GPA for humanities majors is about 0.4 higher than engineering or science majors. But humanities assignments are much more subjective, and so are more difficult to grade harshly. Additionally, it's not the grade that gets writing majors to where they want to be -- it's the writing itself, so even if we know we can get a good grade, we're still going to be doing the best work that we can.
4. When people say, “Oh, so you’re an English major.”
5. When pre-med and engineering friends try to outdo each others’ starting salaries and you just sit there and hope no one notices you.
LOL you guys should be arguing over who has to take me in and feed me when I can't find a job...
6. When you have a great idea for a story but then forget it a second later.
Well. RIP.
7. When you’re practicing over and over for a recitation and your roommate threatens to throw you out.
Sorry, sorry, I'll be quieter. Maybe.
8. When you have no idea what to write about and you have a story due in an hour.
I swear that's not what I normally sound. K, I'm just gonna leave now and never come back...
12. When people ask what careers you could go into.
13. When people purposefully say things grammatically incorrectly to try to taunt you.
You're not original. Also, most of us aren't even grammar Nazis.
14. When everyone in your intro class shrugs and says, “I’m just taking this to boost my grade.”
You do that.
15. When a workshop piece is amazing and everyone is like “shiiiiiiiiiiiit.”
16. When you get roasted during your workshop over one itty bitty typo.
17. When your friends casually skip their lectures but you can’t because all your classes are small.
OK, well, I'm getting the most out of my college tuition, or something...
18. When you reread one of your stories that you thought was pretty great, and you realize it's complete crap.
Oh, the pain of betrayal. How could I have thought this was even remotely acceptable?
