Dear __________,

It's been awhile—and that is okay. I hope you're doing well, and your life has been full of many experiences and lots of laughter. I hope we can now pass each other on the street and not feel awkward. I hope we can exchange a polite smile instead of hiding our face. I don't love you, but I don't hate you. I don't want to be friends, but I don't want to be enemies.

I want to make it clear that this is not a typical open letter, and the title is quite deceiving, because you were not my first love. In fact, you were not love at all.

I don't mean that rudely (or anything else I say in this letter), I just mean it honestly and I think we can both agree that the toxic relationship we shared was not love at all. Maybe at the time, we thought we were soulmates, but really... what did we know? We were just kids who couldn't see the difference between being attached and being in love.

Although our breakup was far from mutual or "pretty," looking back I am forever grateful for the torture I put myself through. If I knew then what I know now, I probably could have saved myself from many sleepless nights and uncontrollable tears.

I'm not saying that what you did was okay, but I am thanking you for it. To some, that is probably absurd, but to me, I think it is what you deserve.

Because of our faulty relationship and messy breakup, I have learned more about myself than I possibly could have if we were still together. I have become a stronger person and I have grown deeper in my faith with Jesus. I have found real, difficult, all-encompassing love.

You may not realize it, but because of you I have stumbled across many things and found people I may never have even met if you had stuck around.

Thank you for showing me what I don't deserve, and letting me go to find what I do deserve.

Thank you for uncovering my naive eyes and giving me a glimpse at how cruel yet compassionate this world can be.

Thank you for giving me countless opportunities to learn lessons I didn't know I needed to grasp.

And thank you for pushing me away so that I could push myself.

But most importantly, thank you for not being my first love.

I really do hope life is treating you well, and your second love shows you that there really is no such thing as a first love.

Sincerely,

Your (Not) First Love