Dear Frat Boys,

I totally understand that you are peaking in life, now, as a frat star. Trust me, I can tell. I mean, what is better than surviving a semester worth of brotherhood bonding events just to be able to attend a party full of liquor, ladies, and letters every night? In fact, you are smirking in full content, right now, because you are just so frat! But here is a little heads up for you: in just three short years, no one (even sorority girls) will remember your existence as a brother of  the top-tier frat you are in. 

Think back to last weekend when you were walking around your party room looking for all the different sorority girls who came after the clock struck 12. You noticed a cute girl and you knew it was your chance, so you started to spit game. Then, every frat boy’s worst nightmare happened: the girl you thought was a total dime turned out to be a total dud simply because she told you what sorority she was in. You probably started to panic because she wasn’t in the tier you wanted her to be in so you walked away thinking that she would not realize why you suddenly became so disinterested. News flash: girls are not as naïve as you think they are. Girls can pick up almost every signal from a guy, even just by the way he is standing.

Ever heard that girls have the ability find out everything? It’s true. They hear when their sororities are brought up in your Groupme, especially when you are complaining about how you are so above them. Next time you blame a house for being lame, notice that it is just a bunch of dudes standing around the bar and awkwardly watching the girls dance with each other. I know years of tradition have formed this tier system, but this is not Mean Girls, or should I say, Mean Boys: Greek Edition. Yes, we do have our jocks, preps, burnouts, sexually active band geeks and the greatest people you will ever meet, but they are in every sorority.

Remember that old saying that goes something like, “Don’t judge a girl by her sorority.” You probably don’t, because then I would not be writing this. Next time you decide to be rude to a girl based off of a made up social hierarchy, remember this: in ten years, your co-worker will not look at you and say to himself, “I know that dude pounded Karkov 10 years ago at Indiana University. He definitely chilled with the hottest girls on campus and pulled so many girls. He’s so frat. I’m so jealous.”

Love,

Your average sorority girl

PS. Hopefully, I am not banned from your frat, now.