The Playoffs are here, and so are the heart attacks that come while watching the Hawks. In the midst of the Western Coast Conference Finals, there are quite a few ways you can distinguish yourself as a fan from the band wagoners of the most superior hockey team in the nation.

1. Each period you have a minimum of-but are not limited to- three heart attacks. Thanks for letting the other team score three times and then quickly evening the score, you heartbreakers.
2. You have a crush on every single player because they are easily the hottest team in the NHL.
3. Twitter is your best friend and you can't help but tweet every single moment of the game.
4. In your eyes, the other team, aka the Ducks, is only composed of satanic worshippers and a bunch of pansies. For confirmation please search #CoreyPerryFacts.
5. Blackhawks gear is a staple in your closet and every Happy Hour you throw on that Hawks jersey with pride.
6. Game day is no joking matter. You halt all conversations during game time and stand at attention no matter where you are, even if it's in the middle of Lion.
7. Missing a game is not an option. Ever.
8. You have several superstitions that must never be broken. Knocking on wood at any mention of winning (knock knock), sitting in the same seat, or even eating the same food during the game are just a few habits that you hope result in another visit from Stanley (knock knock).
9. You have a favorite player that you imagine yourself marrying, having several children with, and watching every game from a box full of free food. But until then, you'll settle for a tweet back. Still waiting on mine from @shawz15er...
10. But truthfully, you love them all and would love to just meet one of them. And take a picture. And Instagram it. And make it your profile picture on every social media including myspace. And send it to everyone you have ever met. And maybe tattoo it across your forehead. But just a handshake would be amazing.
11. Petting Patrick Kane's mullet is on your bucket list. And it will happen.
12. Sometimes you forget other sports even exist in Chicago. Who even are the Bulls, Sox, Cubs, or Bears?
13. The ideal gifts for your birthday, Christmas and any holiday include Hawks jerseys, tickets to a game, and a Stanley Cup (knock knock).