I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. We were talking about kids, and she stated that she doesn’t want to have children with a black person. I was disappointed and asked her why, even though I already knew the answer. She wanted to have kids with a person of a different race because she wants her kids to have “good hair.” Sadly, many people my age and in the younger generation think this way. They want to have children with someone who is perhaps white, or Puerto Rican, so their kids might have caramel candy skin, hair with loose spirals and waves deeper than the ocean. It is upsetting that black people think that their kids need to be mixed with another race in order to be cute. Falling in love with someone from the opposite race and starting a family is completely fine. Having kids with someone of the opposite race just because you think that they will be more attractive is absurd.

The thought that lighter is better within the black community can be dated all the way back to slavery. Slave masters would rape slaves, and the light skin child was able to work in the house. They didn’t have to be outside in temperatures that seemed like hell with the slaves of darker complexion. Slaves with lighter skin tones were just treated better in general because lighter was prettier, and darker was ugly.

One of the major reasons that this generation would rather have a child with the opposite race is because they believe their child will have “good hair.” Let’s just get one thing straight: there is no such thing as good hair. The hair that grows out of your scalp is beautiful period. The tightly coiled spirals that are associated with the black culture are just as beautiful as the springy curls that most mixed kids have. It irritates every part of my soul when people say to me “I wish I had hair like you! I know you must be mixed with something.” When others assume that I may be Dominican, or half white and half black it is just rude. And to be completely honest, I know some mixed people who don’t have the stereotypical long curly hair that everyone seems to want.

When black people say that they would rather have a child with the opposite race, they are basically saying that black is ugly. This generation needs to get it through their head that black people are gorgeous. Everything about us from our coiled hair, our skin that glistens like the sun, our big lips and wide hips. So, if I see one more tweet that says, “I want to have mixed babies” with the heart eye emoji — I am going to scream. Whether you have a child that is black, mixed, white, purple or gold, they will be beautiful. The color of your partner’s skin does not determine how attractive your child will be.