People are prone to pointing fingers. Lately, it seems to be on the verge of an epidemic. After Dr. Everett Piper, President of Oklahoma Wesleyan University stated, “This is not a day care. This is a University”, it seemed as though we were swiveling our heads discovering people who are consistently playing the day-care card.

Why are we lacking a knack for responsibility? It seems as though our society is scattered with people playing the victim card. It seems as though a common instinct in situations where we have failed is to blame others—it’s not my fault, it’s yours and you did this to me.

But is the place we perceive ourselves to be in always appropriate? It seems as though playing the victim is simply that- an act, not the truth, not a legitimate categorization. Merriam-Webster defines victim as "a person who has been attacked, injured, robbed or killed by someone else...a person who is cheated or fooled by someone else...someone or something that is harmed by an unpleasant event". When I see this definition I realize that being a victim (i.e. playing the victim card) is a connotation, a common link to a word, rather than a fact.

Without a doubt there are circumstances where you are a victim. People who have experienced sexual assault are victims, yet even then I would never refer to someone as a sexual assault victim, rather, to me, they would be a survivor. Because even when you have unequivocally become a victim, you still have worth and value to offer.

However, when you blame and self-categorize yourself as a victim you have naturally striped yourself of your worth and value. No one wants to support or feel sympathy for someone who complains. When I see someone fail and then turn around, eyes flashing, fingers ready to fault someone else, I lose all respect for them. However when I see someone fail, but turn around, take a deep breath, and admit to their faults, I applaud them for having the courage and the audacity to take responsibility of their actions.

Recently, when a friend confronted me about a reference I made in an article, I apologized. When a client complained to my supervisor about my actions at work, I practically ran to my supervisor to claim responsibility. It was never easy, it was always awkward and humiliating, and sometimes I fought it, but ultimately I apologized and took responsibility for my actions.

Do not think I am relaxing into my place on my high-horse. Of course, I’m not better than those who blame, but what differentiates me is that I seek out growth from my mistakes. Rather than find fault and blame in others, I turn into myself and ask: How can I be better?

Be proud of your accomplishments, you’ve earned them by embracing and refining your faults. Challenge yourself to prove a time that you were rewarded by blaming others. I hope you find that no one has ever grown by complaining. Rather we grow and are rewarded for reaching out, accepting advice and criticisms, and ultimately having the courage to realize your worth comes from your reactions to you failures. React with passion, react with a need for change—say to yourself, “I failed, but I will be better”.

Go ahead, say it.