People often wrongly assume that solitude cannot exist without loneliness, the pain that arises when we long for company that we lack. We are so hesitant about doing things without someone else to do them with us. We are afraid of being seen in public by ourselves, whether it’s at dinner, a movie, or a concert. So we avoid it, and we seek companionship for every undertaking. For some reason, it’s been engrained in our minds that we can’t do things on our own happily.
Our society has fooled itself into thinking that the security that comes from doing things with other people is the only way to live. We immediately associate being alone with being lonely. However, being alone is healthy. Solitude invites freedom. We don’t have to comply with anyone else’s desires except our own. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want. It’s a good thing to withdraw from the company of others sometimes.
Of course, many of my fondest memories include others. But this does not mean that I am incapable of enjoying myself without the presence of another person. My family and friends have often criticized me for doing so many things on my own, but I always laugh it off and carry on with my “loner” habits.
The truth is, I like being by myself.
And sometimes, I actually prefer being by myself.
I love dining alone. All I have to focus on is flavor. No need for conversation between bites. Just the musings of my mind as I enjoy a delicious meal from a restaurant or my own kitchen.
I love seeing movies alone. No one can disturb my engagement with the film. No stupid questions from someone sitting next to me asking me what is going to happen next when I don’t know, and neither does anyone else in the audience.
I love going to concerts alone. I can actually listen to the music that I’m paying for without the distraction of needless banter. And I don’t have to fight the mob of the crowd with a massive group of people. I can slither right up to the front all on my own without upsetting a ton of people.
I love shopping alone. I love clothes, but hate trying them on. So I prefer one body to deal with in the dressing room. I get things done much faster without having to wait on a friend try on the same dress in three different colors.
I love going to museums alone. I can bask in my own quiet time and actually take the time to enjoy artwork at my own pace.
I love traveling alone. I’ve only been on a few trips completely by myself, and they have been restricted to weekend trips to nearby places. However, I look forward to venturing more on my own and seeing the things I want to see.
Once you allow yourself to stop fearing independence, you can actually embrace your independence and enjoy the experiences that come from it.
Enjoy yourself by yourself.
Best,
Jessica
