The Path of Turning into a Jobless College Grad Stereotype | The Odyssey Online
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The Path of Turning into a Jobless College Grad Stereotype

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The Path of Turning into a Jobless College Grad Stereotype

With graduation upon us, seniors everywhere are in one of two possible places. Option one: you are graduating with a new job (or grad school) that is going to take you higher at your dream company (or university), with a really awesome chic apartment in a trendy city that you love. Option two: you literally have no job prospects and you are genuinely scared that you will forever be jobless and unsuccessful, and that all of your years of studying, and spending thousands of dollars at university were a waste. I am currently on the path to option two, and not giving up. But with graduation in approximately twenty days, I can't help but think about what I'm doing after graduation, if anything at all.


I can't work in a food service industry forever. I will if I have no options, but seriously I can't.


Okay but maybe I can work in the food industry forever, that girl in the McDonalds commercials said that she started from the bottom, and now she runs the whole entire thing. Or something.

Let's drink a lot of wine and then send out my resume to any job on monster.com with the words 'communication', 'english', or 'event' in it.


I JUST GOT A CALL FROM A COMPANY AND THEY WANT TO GIVE ME AN INTERVIEW.


Oh ok you want an interview in person only this week and you live in Boston? Okay, yes sure let me see if I can get on the nearest flight.

Flights are $400?! “I apologize but I am unavailable for an in person interview, can we Skype interview instead?…No?... okay I understand, thanks for your time."

I JUST GOT ANOTHER CALL.

“Yes ma'am, I understand I don't graduate until May, sure, you can put my resume on hold."

*Three years later* Doesn't hear from company that put my resume "on hold". Self, tonight you need a break. You've been working really hard recently, and I think that you deserve a break to go out and have a beer. Not a lot because you're an aspiring adult, but a little.


Oh my god, Fireball gave me anti-freeze poisoning, and I think I'm dying. Why did I do this. Why did I think I could drink? Why did I think I could be an adult?


Still dying of anti-freeze poisoning so let's try sending my applications out again.

No phone calls at all, awesome. So great. Fab.

I need a drink and a nap and some Netflix binge watching because I've been working really hard, I'll try this again next week.

I'm sorry, what, ______ (insert name here) got a job where? She doesn't even try.

Can I get paid to drink Two Buck Chuck, because I'm good at that and qualified. Really qualified.


On the plus side though, I'm going to have the whole entire summer off to do whatever I want.

Actually I'm going to have the rest of my life off, as of now, to do whatever I want.

Reminder seniors: you're not alone, eventually we'll get there. Hopefully.

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