As much as we like to think we keep it composed on a night out, a few cocktails on a Friday night wins -- every time. It all starts with a phone call from a friend. They ask you to come out for the night. After explaining that you are too tired, don’t have enough money, and would rather binge watch Netflix, you solemnly agree to going out for one drink. Only one drink. Here’s where all the real fun begins. 

Lie #1. I will only have one drink. 

After that drink, you think to yourself, “Why did I get out of bed and come all the way here for only one drink? I feel fine, might as well make it two."

Lie #2. I will stick to one type of alcohol. 

Whether it's vodka water or beer, you make the decision to choose the same drink all night. This will hopefully prevent a worse hangover and you won’t be all over the place accepting every kind of shot. 

Lie #3. I will not take shots. 

“Everybody!” How do you turn down a round of free shots that the cute guy at the bar just ordered for you and your friends? 

Lie #4. I am not spending more money than what I brought out with me. 

After those two drinks, a shot, and then some, you are out of cash and the night is still young. So comes the decision to go to the ATM and be charged an annoying fee (that could be another drink), or open a tab. 

Lie #5. I will not open a tab. 

How great is it to walk up to the bartender like a rock star, “A whiskey coke under Smith, please,” and not have to worry about getting change back and tipping right then and there. Then, you tell your friend to just put their drink on your tab, it’s no big deal. Then, you become Oprah. “You get a drink! You get a drink! Everyone gets a drink!” Your bank account will forgive you for being generous. 

 Lie #6. I will not text, call, look at, make eye contact with, or talk to my ex. 

 It is “ex” for a reason; no need to go there again. Although, I do have this one question that I know only he knows the answer to because he is super into that sports team, or whatever, so it won’t hurt to shoot him a text. He didn’t reply -- just one call.   

Lie #7. It’s okay to bring a clutch out. 

It is cuter than your satchel, anyways. I will just remember to pick it back up after I set it down. Cannot afford to lose my keys and wallet again. 

Lie #8. I won’t break the seal. 

 I don’t know why we contemplate so much whether or not we should pee when we are out. I guess because after that one time, you have to go again, and again, and again -- and you get frustrated you are missing out on party time while standing in the line of 20 girls waiting for the restroom. 

Lie #9. I won’t eat pizza. 

But Gumby's is right across the street from the Strip. We can pick it up on our way home. I haven’t had dinner, anyways, and pizza will absorb the alcohol? Whatever you need to say to make yourself feel okay. 

Lie #10. I will go to the gym in the morning to burn off the pizza I ate last night. 

Haha, who am I kidding.