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Politics and Activism

47 Things All Portlanders Know

Say "Ori-Gone" one more time.

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47 Things All Portlanders Know

Things all Portlanders know.

1. Umbrellas are for tourists and wimps.

2. Voo-Doo is also for tourists.

3. Portlandia.

Everywhere you go outside of Portland, Portlandia will be brought up. You will be asked how accurate it is.

4. Water snobs.

Portland has a great source of natural clean water. You can drink out of the taps. (Unless something gets into the reservoirs...) This isn't true everywhere. Don't drink tap water in California or Florida. Don't do it. You have been warned.

5. Hipsters.

6. Coffee.

Seattle may have Starbucks, but we have Stumptown and Barista.

7. Home Brew.

8. Beards.

9. Plaid.

The lumberjack-hipster style is strong in Portland.

10. 90's.

So we never really moved forward, fashion-wise. But why fix it if it's not broke?

11. California.

Portlanders have some very opinionated views towards people from California.

12. STOP MOVING HERE. (Please)

See number 11.

13. Seasons.

Unlike many places around the world, Portland has each season ever year.

14. Adventure.

Oregon has plenty of opportunities to get out and about. Go for a hike, a bike ride, or a camping trip.

15. Outdoor School.

I didn't know that this wasn't a thing everywhere! I went to Camp Namanu and it was my favorite week of middle school! *Starts singing quietly while writing the rest of this article* "He was a big bold man, he was a desperado from cripple creek right out of Colorado, And he horsed around like a big tornado and everywhere he went he said “YEEE-HAAAA"

16. Organic.

Everything.

17. Farmer's Markets.

18. No sales tax.

19. No pumping gas.

I went to university in Washington and a man at a gas station told me a great joke, "How do you spot the Oregonian in Washington? Look for the guy sitting in his car for twenty minutes at the gas station."

20. Public transportation.

It's not uncommon to get your license in your twenties. Public transportation is a green and economical option. Plus, if you haven't people watched on the MAX, you haven't really lived in Portland.

21. Liberals.

Ok, so not everyone feels the Bern, but Portland has a pretty liberal population.

22. College football (and no other kind of football).

No Seahawks or other football teams. Oregon doesn't have a professional football team. All of our hopes and dreams are on the Ducks and the Beavers.

23. The Civil War.

Get ready to buy that duck pillow-pet from the Duck gear pyramid at Fred Meyers. It's Civil War time.

24. Blazers.

25. The bridge field trip.

Everyone has a field trip downtown to try and learn the names of all the bridges.

26. Tillamook cheese.

WARNING PLEASE READ BEFORE MOVING OUT OF PORTLAND: TILLAMOOK CHEESE IS NOT SOLD COUNTRY WIDE.

27. Vancouver, Washington.

Not many people realize I'm talking about Vancouver, Washington and not Vancouver, B.C. That is unless they're from the Portland area. Then they know.

28. Portland is not the state capitol.

29. How to pronounce Oregon.

Say "Ori-gone" one more time. I dare you.

30. Naked bike riders.

I refuse to put an image here.

31. That guy who plays the bagpipes on his unicycle.

32. The silver statue guy.

33. Saturday Market.

This is not only open on Saturday, contrary to what the name may suggest.

34. High School rivalry.

My Dad went to Lincoln High School. I went to Parkrose and my cousins went to David Douglas. Loyalty runs deep. My cousin owns a kilt. He wears it regularly.

35. Fred Meyers.

No need to go to several different stores. Fred Meyers is your one stop answer to everything.

36. Winco.

Cheap food. Great bulk section and air conditioning during the one week of hot weather.

37. Rain.

38. Recycling.

39. Better drivers than those from Washington.

Washington drivers are not as gifted as Oregonian drivers. This is fact.

40. Feminism.

41. Bi-polar weather.

Rain, snow, fog, hail, lightning, wind storms, sun and all before lunch.

42. Roses.

Rose Garden, Rose Festival, Rose Princess, Rose Queen, Rose Parade, Rose Quarter (NOT THE MODA CENTER.).

43. Pedestrians.

Portland is rather pedestrian friendly.

44. Bicyclists.

They're everywhere.

45. Gresham.

This is NOT Portland.

46. Rose Quarter.

I refuse to call this the "Moda Center" and my children will not be taught this blasphemy.

47. A special place in our hearts for Portland, Oregon.

No matter where we may move or travel, Portland will always be home.

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