Hi Pops, I miss you tons.
How’s the Big G? Is he funny like I think he is? Does he play pranks on you? I think he plays pranks on me. Or at least, he tries to give me wake up calls to snap me out of it sometimes.
It’s Easter. Can you believe it? I don’t remember the last time I sat down and spoke to you but it was probably last summer when we went to eat Korean BBQ together. That was such a nice day. I remember trying to eat all the meat and only a few noodles. You, like all Korean grand-dads, laughed at how well I was eating. I remember how well you ate too.
Do you remember the summer before that? Grandma wouldn’t let you eat anything beside the soup and leafy greens. I was so mad. In my small mind, I thought, “Let him eat what he wants! He’s sick and tired. The sodium in the meat isn’t going to kill him.” But if I could go back time, I would have eaten all of the Korean BBQ, bugs, slime and even the dirt on the floor until I was full, sick and morbidly obese if it meant I could see you today.
Do you remember me talking about my sisters from Greek life? I tried to explain it to you when we were eating fruit after a hike, but you were really confused. It’s like a women’s empowerment organization, remember? You were excited and thought it was by grace that I ended up in sorority that supported women’s heart health. Anyway, one of my sisters invited me to her place for Easter. I couldn’t go this year, but last year I did and they had this massive homemade bunny cake. She has eight siblings, grand-dad! I was surprised her parents let us stay at their place. It was one of the best experiences of my life. It was a reminder of God’s endless love, even for the ridiculous amount of people on this Earth.
Do you remember the time you were in the hospital and grandma was being so rude to the doctors? Demanding answers, explanations and shouting at them? I was so embarrassed. I remember the whole ride back home, I was complaining to dad how embarrassing that was and how I didn’t want to go back again. But now, if I could go back in time, I would have shouted at all the doctors and nurses, cursed them out and demanded answers too. I would have been on my knees, crying, begging and offering anything I could if it meant that I'd see you today.
I went to California this spring break, grandpa! Do you remember when we went there? I was so young. We went when you visited us in Boston. Then we all went to visit California and Disneyland. I honestly don’t remember much from then, but endless albums and photos of us all tan with ice cream provide plenty of evidence that it happened. If anyone rolls their eyes at me for wanting to take so many photos, I can always justify it now. Photos seem to help us remember the wonderful times we may tuck away.
Do you remember when you wanted to take me mini-golfing? It was pouring that day. You had come back from the hospital a few nights before and wanted to see me before I headed back to the States. The rain held up traffic and the Metro stopped working for an hour because of a power outage. I called to say I didn’t think I could make it. Grandma said that it was completely fine and that I was welcomed to come any time before I left if I wasn’t too busy.
Then she handed the phone to you. You said, “The rain really gets in the way, huh? But it will stop, and then there’s an air of freshness, and everything that was withering will have another chance at life.” I laughed and asked, “What, like my grades?” You laughed and said, “Sure! But grades aren’t everything. I love you. Have a safe flight back.” But now, if I could go back in time, I would swim across the flood, run through the mountains, and wait in the rain for hours, if it meant I could see you today.
It rained yesterday, grandpa. It rained and I spent the day with someone who makes me feel very happy and safe. And in the midst of walking in the crazy storm, out of nowhere, I remembered what you said: "Life is full of second chances, hope and renewal."
Happy Easter, Pops. Life is good, people are great and God is even better.
I miss you.
