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15 Guys I Won't Swipe Right

Mar 28, 2016

According to a recent article published by the Pew Research Center, online dating doesn’t have the stigma that it used to have. In fact, 59 percent of Americans claim that online dating is a good way to meet new people.

While ⅓ of the people who use these sites have never actually been on a date with someone they met online, 41 percent of college graduates know someone who met their spouse on a dating website or app.

It wasn’t until I got to college that “dating” apps were constantly talked about, but “dating” was always a very loose term, and I never felt the need to sign up for any of them, especially Tinder.

However, apparently I was a minority. In 2014, over 50 million people used Tinder regularly, and by August 2015, over 8 billion Tinder matches had been made. When I joined in early 2016, it was for experimental purposes. My friends and I were all jetting off to different parts of the United States for spring break and we wanted to see what we could find.

How did the guys all across America compare? Our conclusion was simple. There are some guys we will never swipe right.

1. The guy holding a fish in one of his pictures

I should start a tally of how many Nebraska and Iowa guys are holding some sort of dead animal in one of their pictures. I hate it.

2. The guy who is going to jail in June

I'm actually very grateful you mentioned that in your bio.

3. The guy who is friends with my brother

4. The guy who plays a D1 sport at my school

I’ve heard stories. We’ve all heard stories.

5. The guy who doesn’t know how to hold a baby

You might be trying to impress girls and draw them in with an adorable tiny child, but when you hold a newborn like a football, I’m more concerned about the baby than I am with swiping right.

6. The guy who worships his car

I have a car, too, but no, I didn’t do a photoshoot with it.

7. The guy who only posts group photos

Which one are you?

8. The guy who isn’t wearing a shirt

“Even if he looks good, I know you’re conceited.”

9. The guy whose bio says “looking for a threesome”

Like, wait. What?

10. The guy I know

If you’re in one of my classes or we’ve had a conversation, your fate is to the left.

11. The guy who corrects his age in his bio

I don’t like 16-year-olds trying to trick me into thinking they are 22. Trust me, you don’t look 22.

12. The guy who posts a picture of him smoking.

It’s not cool. It’s gross.

13. The guy who is 23 and still using his senior pictures

High school was a long time ago, friend. I think it’s time to tuck away the yearbook photos

14. The guy looking for his "Tinderella"

I give you props for a creative bio, but I'm sorry, no.

15. The guy I went to grade school with

We haven't seen each other since 8th grade and I suggest we keep it that way.

However, there is always an exception to every rule.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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