It seems like for the first time since 2011 I’ve been hearing Justin Bieber’s name everywhere, from Facebook, Twitter, TV, and the radio. Is he still looking for one less lonely girl? Are we still “chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue”? I don’t know, but no matter what, Justin Bieber has been making a comeback, whether you like it or not.
Justin has recently been making big physical transformations, trying to convince people he’s grown up. For example, his hair. He’s a blonde now, and not the kind that could potentially be from the sun, but the kind only babies naturally have. And to quote Frozen, “[am I] holding back my fondness due to his unmanly blondness”? Probably, I mean maybe, I mean definitely. In addition to the new hair color, Justin has gotten some new tattoos. They’re a little excessive now, and we get it! You’re not that little Canadian boy anymore!
To research this article, I listened to his new songs. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I’m a journalist (an Odyssey writer? Something?) and have to research my articles thoroughly. I had to figure out why his songs were topping the charts of Spotify. “What Do You Mean?” is the fastest song to hit 100 million streams on Spotify and there must be a reason. It would be impossible for Justin to reach that kind of number all by himself. After one and a half listens, I still don’t get it.
To make it worse, I’ve been going to parties where “Where Are Ü Now?” has been blaring from speakers through one ear and right out the other. No, I don’t want to dance on an elevated surface to Justin Bieber, it only makes me want to drink more. His single titles sound like texts from my parents.
On top of that, who remembers Justin crying at the VMAs? He told Jimmy Fallon that he cried due to stress, but most of us wait until we’re not on camera for millions to see us break down. I just think he’s trying to win America’s sympathy.
So, as Justin tops the charts and plays on every radio station my little college town has, I will be hiding in my room hoping the Beliebers won’t find me there.
