The words ‘introvert’ and ‘extrovert’ are tossed around nowadays without much thought. Most people don’t have an accurate understanding of the terms, and consequently, often mislabel or misdescribe people. Here are some common myths about introverts that many people believe, and the truth behind them.
Myth: Extraverts are social, introverts are not.
Reality: This is probably the most widely believed definition of the two contradicting personality traits. In reality, however, the true definition has to do with where one gains their energy, or ‘recharges’. An extravert gains energy by being social: they recharge while around people or in groups, and drain of energy while alone. An introvert, on the other hand, recharges by being alone. Being around groups of people for an extended period of time drains them, even if they are enjoying the socialization. But this does not mean that introverts dislike being social - some are more social and some less so, just like all other individuals. The important part is finding a balance that can keep up their energy.
Myth: Introverts are just ‘shy,' and if they feel comfortable they will be more social.
Reality: Introversion is not the same as social anxiety, and should stop being compared with it. Introverts do not need to ‘come out of their shell’ or ‘loosen up’, and this personality trait is not a result of anxiety. Even when introverts are very comfortable, they still need time to recharge to continue being social. Being around people and places they feel comfortable with will not prevent this recharging/draining process.
Myth: Introverts hate people.
Reality: I often see this myth presented online in lists or articles. Introverts are thought to dislike being around people (another untrue belief) because they don’t like people. Sometimes they can give off this impression if they’re being forced to socialize when all of their socialization-energy has been depleted. If an introvert is being quiet or seemingly ‘moody’ in a group of people, this doesn’t necessarily mean that they dislike you. They may just be drained of energy without a respite - which is not your fault, I promise.
Myth: If you’re outgoing, you can’t be an introvert.
Reality: Once of the most frustrating responses I’ve ever gotten when I told someone I was an introvert was “no, you’re too outgoing to be an introvert!” While I appreciated that they see me as outgoing, placing that trait as an antithesis to ‘introvert’ is dangerous and untrue. If an introvert is aware of when they need to retreat and recharge, you may never see them as you would imagine your stereotypical introvert. As previously mentioned, not all introverts are shy - and they can certainly be outgoing and charismatic.
Why do people hear “introvert” and automatically assume ‘quiet, shy, and people-hating’? It is because myths like these are perpetuated and promoted. We need to start educating people on the realities of these varying personality traits in order to make the social sphere better for everyone.
