I'm not sure how it happened, but during high school, I entered this awkward phase of losing a lot of close friends. Since then I have been a very quiet and to myself kind of person. I didn't really talk much to anyone, but I had my few close friends. However, I never had anyone in classes to connect with because I always tried for the more rigorous classes. I just didn't quite fit in because I did not have that clique of people.
Really, I can talk and be friendly with anyone, but I guess it never enough to sit with them at lunch. Entering college, I was hoping that my social life would change and in some ways it did. Many times I feel like I am two different people. I love to go out and have fun about as much as the next person, but sometimes I feel as though I am misunderstood or don’t fit in. So I'm quiet, do what I need to do, and keep to myself.
If my freshman year of college didn't play out the way it did, my college career would have probably been really boring and lifeless. My first semester I didn't go out. Making friends was tough because I was either doing school, focusing on a relationship, or working. I had a small group of friends, but I was far from a social life. My second semester I met a group of friends that I shared so many wonderful memories with. Some of those people I'm still friends with now and others are really just acquaintances, but we remain on good terms. I was an extrovert. I went out and had fun. I didn't have to eat dinner alone anymore in the cafeteria. I didn't feel like an outcast.
It's now my senior year of college and I can see how I have grown in some ways but remained the same quiet person. Around campus, I'm pretty quiet. I'm in a social sorority, but I don't really get to do the social part a lot because of work which can make me feel distanced. The problem with my introverted side is that I keep to myself. I do what I need to do and anything outside of my routine is usually planned by someone else. I want to be an extrovert. And when someone finally strikes a conversation with me and we develop a connection, I can talk about anything. Believe it or not, I like to be social, I just struggle with initiating that.
A lot of the time, I’d rather stay in bed all day and binge on Netflix. Other times, I want to go out and be that social bubbly girl that everyone loves to around… and I can be that girl. I get that I can't be best friends with everyone, but I'd like to say that I am an approachable person. So if you see me being quiet and alone, feel free to strike up a conversation. I am an open book with many stories to tell.
