An Open Letter To The First Man Who Never Loved Me
Start writing a post
Adulting

An Open Letter To The First Man Who Never Loved Me

I'm sorry. I thank you. I hope you're happy.

256069
An Open Letter To The First Man Who Never Loved Me

Dear "Dad,"

I'm not bitter anymore, I'm just sorry.

I'm sorry that you didn't want to be a part of my successes and would rather be my biggest failure. I'm sorry that you chose a life without me in it. I'm sorry that I accomplished so much in the past year and you've heard nothing about it. I'm sorry that you have no right to be proud of me.

I'm sorry that you will never be a part of my life again. I'm sorry that I let you hurt me this badly. I'm sorry that I put so much trust and effort into building a relationship that you just didn't want. I'm sorry that I had faith in you. Most of all, I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you.

I look back on all of the times that we never shared together and I don't get sad anymore. Rather, I get a sense of pride in myself. I know how strong I've become just because of your lack of existence. I know that there were people in my life who took your spot and excelled in raising me. I know that you will never see the damage you've done to me, and I promise you that I will make sure you will never see my successes as your own.

SEE ALSO:Be Patient With The Girl Whose Heart Was Broken Before You Came Into Her Life

I remember all of the times I chose you over myself. I think back on all of the times that I tried to keep you, but you still ended up walking out on me. I would like to thank you for this. Thank you for teaching me that no matter how bad I want someone in my life, it doesn't always happen.

Thank you for teaching me that I won't always get what I want. Thank you for letting me down enough times that I only view myself as dependable, and no one else. Thank you for standing back and letting me struggle when it was obvious that you could have helped me. Thank you for making me as independent and self-reliant as I am.

The credit that you don't deserve is given all to my mother. You couldn't even imagine the amount of stress that you put on her. She had to watch her daughter hate herself, believe that it was her fault and cry nightly because of a man who didn't want to be in her life. The first man to break my heart, before I even knew I had a heart to be broken, was you.

I hope you're content with your decisions. I hope you are living the life you wanted to live. I hope that you look back on the daughter that you never had and take this as a learning experience. I hope you learn. I hope you grow as a person. I hope you don't make the same mistakes you have.

SEE ALSO: A Letter To My Step Dad

If you ever wake up one morning and want to come back into my life, don't. I don't need an apology from you. I don't need to hear your voice again. I don't need to know how you're doing, where you are or "what's new." I don't need to answer your questions. I don't need to let you into my heart just to lose you again. I don't need you.

I'm sorry.

I thank you.

I hope you're happy.

Love,
Your "Daughter"

Report this Content
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

91610
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

68436
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments