Recently, my sweet boyfriend jokingly sent me a link. It directed me to a hefty list of rules girls should know about guys. I decided to kindly return a link, but was heartbroken to find that no such list existed, at least not one without ridiculous ideas or with even remotely correct grammar. So here you go gentlemen. These are the things your woman probably wishes you knew.

*Disclaimer* Not all rules are universally applicable to all women.

The Rules:

1. I will remember literally everything you say. Be very careful with your words.

2. If I have expressed that I like a pet name (baby girl happens to be my favorite), using that name will get you almost anywhere. 

3. Surprise dates are the best. Show up with a $5 bouquet of flowers… or even pick them off the side of the road for all I care. Take me to get ice cream. This is a $10 date and I will be a very happy girl all week. You can’t put a price on that. 

4. PDA is nice to a certain extent. Don’t ballroom dance with me in the mall or anything, just hold my hand. Kiss my forehead. The smile on my face will be reward enough.

5. If I ask if I look fat in something, don't ever use the word 'fat' in your answer. Choose 'unflattering' and then offer to help find that red dress that you love on me.

6. I love shoes. That won’t change. Get over it. 

7. Put. The. Seat. DOWN. 

8. If you ask if something is wrong and I hesitate for even 1/94th of a second, something is wrong. Tread lightly. 

9. Sports are great, but every once in a while, I need my Gossip Girl fix. I’m not sorry about it. 

10. You know I’m a bad driver. I know I’m a bad driver. There is no need to remind me every single time I misjudge the distance between my tire and the curb. 

11. Sometimes I have to talk about my feelings. Sorry, but it happens. 

12. If there is a girl above my name in your Snapchat best friends, I’m going to wonder and/or ask you about her. 

13.  I will creep on your social media. I can’t help it. Trust me, I wish I could. 

14.  While creeping, I will remember that you have never posted a photo of me ever. I want to be your #WCW. Seriously. Post me. 

15.  I personally don’t want to be treated like a princess. Just maybe like a nobleman’s wife. 

16.  You scare me. ‘Us’ scares me. Just be aware of that. 

17.  Be the same person with me as you are with the guys. 

18.  Periods suck. You will never understand what it feels like for everything under your neck to be sore, itchy, throbbing and excessively bleeding for six days straight. 

19. Calm and patient responses are infinitely more helpful than you could ever imagine. 

20. Taking me to meet your friends means that this is real and that I mean something.

21. Hugs can go further than kisses. Sometimes they make everything okay. 

22. Do not EVER comment on the amount I'm eating. 

23. If I can admit that I’m wrong every once in a while, so can you. 

24. Remember the exact date we started dating. I know I will. 

25. Treat your mother well. It shows me how you’ll treat me one day.

26. I get that sometimes you don’t want to talk, but tell me that. Don’t just ignore me. A simple text will suffice, and I will leave you alone until you're ready.

27. Keep in mind that if I am in a sorority, I literally have 200 women who will want to avenge my heartbreak someday. 

28. The word "beautiful" goes a long, long way. 

29. Stop talking about how hot celebrity women are. I will never be that woman.

30. Please don’t cancel our plans and then ask what's wrong later. That is not going to end well.

31. If you have a porn habit, kick it. Porn kills love, and this is something no one is ever willing to talk about it. When marriage comes around, I'm never going to be the girl in that video, and I don't want to be. I'm real, porn isn't.

32. Don’t hang out with your ex-girlfriend, ex-hookup or ex-anything. I may say it’s okay, but it is never okay with me. Just because I trust you doesn't mean I trust her. 

33. I want you to pay. Especially if it’s for dinner. 

34. I like couple pictures. I need a new phone background, so just put up with me for 12 seconds and smile. 

35. When I bring up something you did in a fight, I’m not trying to kick you below the belt. It’s because it happened and I remember it and it still bothers me. Talk it out with me, don’t just blow up. 

36. I hate shaving my legs. It’s time consuming, itchy and can cause bleeding. If you notice shaved legs, thank the heavens for your good fortune. 

37. Find out my love language, and use it.

38. If we're dating, odds are that I've considered how my name sounds with your last name tacked on to it. I didn't mean to think it. It just popped up.

39. I will always love Disney movies, and you are going to have to get used to it.

40. I'm not easy to understand, but if you treat me well, I'll make everything worth your while. I promise you, no one can love you the way I can. I am more than what's on the surface. All you have to do is stick around and find out.