I was never one to put myself out there, or so to speak. I always stood back in the crowd. I always had opinions but struggled with finding a voice for them. I always wanted be more outgoing, but I was never comfortable with it. I was a shy child, and that shyness in part turned into self-consciousness which held me back for so many years. Ever since starting college though, I have worked through these insecurities to live a more fulfilling life. I so desperately wanted to break out of my shell and open up in a way like I had never done before, but when I first started college, I was unsure if I would be able to so. Looking back on it, there were several things that helped me along the way and shaped me into who I am today, even if I did not realize it at the time.

The first thing you need to do is find a really strong group of friends, a group of friends who you feel comfortable being yourself with. You need to find friends you can act like a complete idiot with, and they won’t judge you because they’ll most likely be doing the exact same thing. You also need to find the friends who will have your back through the thick and thin because college isn’t always a breeze but having the right friends by your side will make it all the better. I began to find this friend group my freshmen year, and as sophomore year progressed, it had solidified. It doesn’t matter how big or small this friend group is. What matters is that you are happy when you are spending time with them, you are able to trust them, and you are able to be yourself with them—that is key.

Next, you need to be willing to try new things, and college is the perfect time for that. There are so many clubs and activities on college campuses that you can become involved in. I have tried my fair share of different clubs and activities. At first, none of them intrigued me enough to stick with them. I didn’t feel like I was getting anything out of them. It was a frustrating feeling because in high school I was involved in several clubs and sports that I loved, and I was worried I wouldn’t find that in college. This just motivated me to continue trying new clubs until I found the right ones. Now, I am a part of several clubs/activities/internships that I absolutely love and am very passionate about. Keep trying new things until you find that one thing on campus that excites you because once you find it, it’s a great feeling.

Also, make sure you speak up for yourself. You have an opinion that deserves to be heard. I used to absolutely hate participating in class. There was always a small part of me that feared speaking up because I didn’t want to be wrong. It wasn’t until very recently that a wise professor of mine asked me this question: “Have you ever made fun of someone who got the answer wrong?” And, that’s when it hit me. It does not matter if you get an answer wrong, what matters is that you are trying. No one is going to laugh or judge you for putting in an effort. Now that I am in this mindset, I find myself participating more and more in my classes. This mindset isn’t only helpful in the classroom though. It should be used in everyday life. If you don’t want to do something, don’t be afraid to say “no.” Always stick up for what you believe in and stay true to yourself. Don’t feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do.

Finally, do not be afraid of other people’s opinions. Don’t let others dictate how you behave. Be yourself. Do what makes you happy. Yes, sometimes people are judgmental. It happens. It’s life. But, you have to learn to ignore those judgments, or you will never be comfortable in your own skin. When you finally disregard other people’s opinions, it is the best feeling in the world. You can then just focus on yourself and being the best person you can be.

I can’t guarantee this is a sure fire way to help you break out of your shell and put yourself out there. But, I have realized that since I began acting these ways I have gotten better at it. My confidence has immensely grown over the last almost 2 ½ years since I started college. I no longer worry about what other people think. I do what makes me happy. I keep telling myself that this life is short, so I should live it with no regrets. This is much easier said than done. I still don’t always do things I want to, but I have found that I have become happier with myself since living my life with this motto. I am living this life for me, and no one else, and that is exactly how everyone should live their life.