As I paced through the halls of the Arts building in University yesterday, a friend of mine, Andrea, stopped me to compliment my colorful hair. In response I complimented her always on-point winged eye-liner. Her response struck me: “Girls building up other girls; I like it!” It dawned on me that many times, girls turn to breaking down one another instead of building each other up.
In a world that still pays women less than men, where women are blamed in rape cases due to what they wear, where a woman’s place in the work place still threatened ideas of masculinity and patriarchy, why are we girls turning on each other? We need to stop seeing each other as competition and start seeing each other as teammates in the battle for equality.
Many a times even I find myself judging other girls perhaps for the way they act or dress. I’m not judging them on who they are, only on what I see. I want to propose to everyone, female and male, to stop judging by what we see. When we see a girl being called a “slut” simply because she enjoys exploring her sexuality freely, let’s stand up for her! A woman has the same right a man does to explore and find what she likes and doesn’t like without her every move being scrutinized.
When we see a fellow woman being shamed for what she was wearing or being harassed as to why she was out so late by herself, let’s not stay quiet. Let’s stand up and shout from the rooftops that a woman has the same right as a man to walk around in whatever clothes she wants at whatever time she pleases without the fear of being raped and, perhaps even worse, being blamed for becoming a victim of the patriarchal system that still condemns the victim and not the rapist.
When we see a girl rocking a new and experimental look, let’s not judge her for her courage to be bold. Instead, let’s applaud her for having the courage to be herself in a society that will judge her for the curve of her liner and the application of her lipstick instead of by her intellectual abilities and her professional demeanor. Go and compliment that girl on her white eye-liner and bright blue shadow. Props to the girls with rainbow hair and silver lips.
We need to stop silencing our voices and only speaking up for ourselves. A victory for one of us is a victory for all of us. The same passion that goes into defending a woman’s rights to be a lawyer or a doctor should still shine in defending a woman for taking on the incredibly difficult task of being a stay-at-home mom. The same loud voices need to shout from the rooftops that women deserve their right to breastfeed in public. Let the trumpets blare to the sound of girls who want to explore their sexuality and those who wish to be celibate until marriage.
I know sometimes it’s hard to resist the temptation to judge each other. We have been conditioned to believe that we are in a race against each other when really we are supposed to be running together. If our common goal is equality then why are we putting rocks on the road for other girls to stumble? Let’s remove those obstacles, and let’s build each other up, hand in hand. Let’s complement each other, defend each other, and raise each other up. In a world that’s trying to keep us down, let’s be united and, with our force, show the world that we are one. We are a force to be reckoned with. I am loud and proud to call myself a woman and to share this world with all you beautiful, strong and smart gals! #TeamBuildUp!
