That’s right, you read it correctly. Now I know this may come as a shock to some, especially after my very candid and unapologetic rant on the issue just a few short months ago in my previous article entitled: 10 Tale-Tell Signs that You Are a #SideChick. But when the proposal came to me, if I’m honest, I entertained the idea. And it got me thinking: do these women really deserve the bad rep(utation) that they've been given (and one that I personally have been guilty of perpetuating)? Perhaps some of them do. I can only offer to you the truth of my situation and thus my opinion based on what I experienced.

He was a blast from my past, a guy that I was involved with almost 10 years ago. After some time, I concluded that we were on different levels as far as what we wanted from each other at the time. I wanted a commitment, and he didn’t. So I ended it with no explanation. He called a few times, but because I figured that he was only interested in “hooking up” once again, I never responded. We reconnected over social media and after “following” each other for some time, he hit me in the DM.

Casually, it progressed. After all these years, I figured that I could certainly be honest with him as to the reason for my abrupt halt of our prior relationship. We indulged in small talk for a few days via our inboxes. And because of our history (and him being the guy that he is), he came out and asked me directly, “So what’s up?” And for me, there was no context necessary to read the subtext of that text. After days of light conversation and of avoiding the pink elephant, I simply asked him, “What’s the deal, u engaged?” His response was honest and direct. He explained to me that he had no intention of leaving his girl and that he has a happy home, but that he just wanted "one time" I supposed, for old times' sake.

I realize that I could have been offended here, but oddly enough, I wasn't. I tried to ask him why. After all, I was genuinely interested in knowing. I wondered why, if this is the woman that you love and want to marry, then why jeopardize that? I wondered, was she lacking something he wanted or did he just want … a little “new new”? He responded, although he didn’t exactly answer my question.

We talked and even texted, after I took the bait of dialing his digits which he left them in my DM weeks ago. I liked the attention. It was… refreshing -- especially since I hadn’t been getting any lately. I started to contemplate all of the “pros” like: now I could have someone to cook for every now and then; or, someone to cuddle up with sometimes; and how I could climax and then get to have the bed all to myself once he leaves. At least if I gave it to him, I wouldn’t be adding to my number. You know times are hard out here for a single girl. And after an extended stretch of inactivity from adult activity, this offer was starting to look more appealing with each day, if you know what I mean.

A few days went by and he texted me on Saturday night. A simple “wyd.” But, reading the subtext of that text, I didn’t respond. Having had a few days to absorb it all, the only thing I could really think of was the image of them together on his social media account, happy and in love. And I thought to myself, I can’t do it, smh. Not to her. Nor to me. I realized that if I had decided to go through with it, even with the best intentions of her never finding out, it’s still wrong. I thought about how I would feel if someone did that to me.

Men (and women) use the excuse that “it’s just sex” and “it didn’t mean anything,” while attempting to convince their partners of how much they love them, when in fact, the very act of sexual intercourse is something so intimate that if you truly love the person enough, you wouldn’t want to share that type of intimacy with anyone but them. And ultimately, this was a reason that factored in my decision. Also, in looking at the two of them together, I realized that I want what he has with her. I just hope that he realizes that he wants it too.

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