Growing up, I always wanted to get married young. I loved hearing stories about two generations behind me where everyone did it, and now at 80 years old they tell the stories of successful marriages that have lasted over 60 years. I wanted that for myself, but as I got closer to being 19 I never thought that that would happen. Heck, I thought I’d be lucky if I ever got married at all, let alone so young.
Society tells us that you should graduate college and have a career before you decide to get married. Society also tells us that it’s cool to get divorced because half of all marriages in the United States end that way, anyway. If I started my marriage thinking that there was only a 50 percent chance that this would work, I absolutely would have waited until I had a career. But if those were my thoughts then I wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. What about having to be dependent on someone else makes us so nervous? Especially when you swore before your friends, family and possibly God that you would always be there — and your spouse swore to always be there for you, too. I feel that if you really trust those vows then having to be financially dependent on one another should be no issue.
The number one thing couples fight about is money, and that is another reason why people think it is best to wait to get married. But I’ve heard that couples who have made it through rough financial times at the beginning of their marriage look back fondly on those simple days when your dates all had to be packed picnics and you stayed up reading to each other because you didn’t have a TV. If you can’t make it through financial instability together, then what makes you sure that you can handle other things life will throw your way?
Getting married at 19 has been the best decision I have ever made. My husband and I are now approaching our one year anniversary, and I know what you're thinking: "Of course, your marriage has been so easy — it’s only been a year."
In your first year of marriage, especially so young, everything is new. I had to pick an issuance plan for the first time, pay hospital bills, cook, take care of a cat, fix my car when it was broken, decorate my own house for Christmas, pay more bills, buy a new cell phone plan, and etc. It’s been a year of being tossed into the real(ish) world, though only partly real because we are still both full-time students. And some of my other friends who have also recently gotten married have had a hard time adjusting to being around their new spouse 24/7. I've always felt mature for my age, but in the last year I have grown immensely. I think about the future more than I ever have before.
I love the fact that I get to go through this part of my life with my best friend by my side. This time is messy, stressful and at times overwhelming to the point of tears. College is hard and figuring out who you are and what you want to do is even harder, but having a husband who is waiting for me at home with a cup of hot chocolate and open arms at the end of a long day pushes me to keep going.
It is possible to have a great, real marriage at this age, but you have to be committed. You can’t go into to this trying to be 100 percent independent, because then you are more like two roommates. I remind myself all the time that we are a team now, which means that when one of us is down then the other one is there to pick you back up again.
