Sports are a big part of my family’s life. Let me restate that; softball is a big part of my family’s life.

We have spent numerous hours at various softball fields during the course of the last eight years and the time has come where it is no longer just me that my parents get to watch. My 8 year old sister had her first competitive softball season this spring and while it was a blast, I now know that the world of youth softball has a little room to improve.

I began my career at one of the two large athletics associations in my town. It was my favorite place to be every weekend. With six total diamonds, it was a baseball lover’s dream come true. Of the six fields, however, only two were softball.

This never seemed like it would be an issue until the commissioners stopped opening the batting cages for us. It was like everything happened at once. Softball was always undermined despite the fact that they perennially brought home district titles. Soon enough, one of the two fields would be repurposed, given a mound, and scheduled only for the minor league (8u and 10u) baseball teams to play on.

At this point, I had slowly began moving on to different travel teams anyway, but a major piece of my career will always be at that park.

When it came time to sign my sister up, we had to make a decision: Let her play under the association that I got my start at, or take her 15 minutes down the road to the other fields. The major difference between the two is that the one I played for participates in the Babe Ruth League and the other is Little League affiliated.

So we decided to give the other complex a shot.

The first two years of her career were what we call “coach-pitch.” These seasons are supposed to be dedicated to learning only the fundamentals of the game, and when you have a good coach, that is what will happen.

These seasons were fun. It was really nice to sit back and watch my sister learn the game I love.

This past season, she moved up a level. There was no more coach pitch, no more time outs to teach the proper technique. The different emotions this large jump gave to my sister were crazy. She was scared. Scared to bat against a real pitcher, scared that she was going to get hit with the ball in the field, scared she was going to mess up and cause her coaches to get upset. She was also sad. Sad that she didn’t get to play every inning, sad she didn’t get to step in the circle and play her true position, sad she didn’t hit the ball every at bat.

Of course she felt happiness, excitement, and everything else that comes along with doing something you love, but the negative emotions I saw her struggle with killed me inside.

This is not only an issue for my sister. Problems like this happen across the board and even happened when I was her age. It’s not about entitlement, cause guess what, she didn’t get a trophy this past season and I have not heard her complain about that for a second. The kid seriously just wanted to do the best she could on the field, but it’s possible she wasn’t ready for that level.

So how can we improve?

To start, and this is for every level, if your kids are not hitting live pitching, let them see their own pitchers in practice. You can hit against a machine all you like, but if there is not a girl standing in front of the batter giving a real windmill and throwing the ball, then your batters are not going to improve. This brings me to my next point, practice. Regardless of what level they are moving up to, your kids are going to have to make an adjustment to how the game is played. If you don’t want them to be afraid of the ball, you have to practice until they are comfortable before you stick them in a game.

The sad feelings that my sister had, were understandable, but honestly just come with playing any sport. As a coach, it is important that you communicate with your athletes and explain to them why they don’t get to play as much, or don’t get to play their favorite position. When we signed up this year, it was clear that she was going to be on a team that was already established, with older girls who would be moving up next season. This meant that she would share playing time with the other youngsters on the team and would most likely not see time on the mound. Yes, it made her upset, but it gave her time to work on her skills for when she will finally get to use them next season. It's a hard concept for any kid to understand, so especially at eight years old, you have to make sure to tell them to keep their head up.

Overall, youth softball is fantastic, but I see that it is being put on the back burner in athletics associations everywhere in favor of the male counterpart. We can’t let that happen. Another important thing to keep in mind is to make sure that the girls are sufficiently practicing and practicing what is necessary when they have that time. Otherwise fields become full of nervous young athletes who don’t know what to do with the ball when it comes to them. We also have to make sure that we are constantly encouraging these athletes. If we don’t take the extra time to tell them all the good parts of what they did, they will think that we only saw the mistakes they made, or that what they did wasn’t good enough. In time they will come to know that time spent on the bench is okay, and even if they aren’t in their favorite position this game, they will get their chance to play there eventually.

Don’t get me started on the umpires.

Finally, I just wanted to thank my sister's coaches from this past season. It was a pleasure watching you guys coach the girls and teach them strong fundamentals. My sister had a lot of fun when it comes down to it and that is all that really matters. I loved getting to see the girls grow as a team and go so far in the playoffs.