Sadness, struggle, hurt, heartbreak -- you name it, and I'm sure everyone in their twenties has experienced it at least once. Problems don't discriminate, so whether you're the most involved person on campus or happy being behind the scenes, you have your own demons. The reactions that these problems illicit are not going to change, but the way the world views our struggle has to.
Being depressed, being anxious, crying, yelling, etc are notoriously signs of being weak when in fact it is a sign that someone is dealing with the problems that they are facing. The alternative is to take all of those emotions, put them in a bottle and shove it way down. That is not what we should be encouraging. If you see a friend expressing their emotions, or more importantly, someone who desperately needs to, tell them and reassure them that it is okay to not be okay.
If you're anything like me then you have a color-coded planner because being a full-time student, working two jobs, being president of an organization, trying to cook, go to the gym and get some shut-eye (oh, and a social life because that's kind of important to me keeping a tiny bit of sanity) is next to impossible without structure. In fact, my life is and was so structured that I had to schedule a cry in the shower when I felt like I was getting overwhelmed. Why in the shower? Well you can't get your job done or run a smooth meeting with red, puffy eyes and make-up streaming down your cheeks.
I felt like I couldn't let anyone know that I was struggling because they would think that I couldn't do my job or that they would at me differently. I failed to give those around me the credit that they might understand. But everyone knows struggle. Everyone knows how to put on a brave face. Everyone knows what it feels like to not be okay.
The solution? Talk about it. Confide in someone. Give your friends some credit, and when they ask how are you, know that you don't have to say that you're okay when you're not. Admitting that you're not okay now does not mean that you wont be okay again soon, it just means that you need a moment to deal with your current circumstances.
So take your moment and cry, be sad, yell and whatever you need to do when you need to, but not when it fits into your schedule. I can almost guarantee that the judgement you think you'll face will actually be a shoulder to cry on, a friendly face handing you a tissue or even a conversation with someone who understands exactly what you are facing. And to the people who have friends that are struggling, open you heart and your ears. You'll never know what people are facing until you take that moment to just listen.
We are all imperfect people, so today, it's okay to not be okay.
