Since long before I even got have an engagement ring on my finger, many people have told me that they are excited for my wedding.
“I can’t wait until you guys get married.”
“You’re wedding is going to be so fun!”
“I’m going to be invited, right?”
Sorry, no. You’re not.
You don’t even know me. We just went to high school together and sat across the room from each other one time. I’m not even sure I remember your name. There is absolutely no way I want you anywhere near my wedding. Oh, and was yelling that question at me from across the supermarket really appropriate?
A wedding is a very special occasion, and I want to be surrounded by my closest friends and family. I don’t want to look at wedding photos in ten years and say, “Wait, who is that? I don’t remember them.” I don’t want a room full of strangers on what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Any bride who acts like they do is either crazy or lying to you.
Rule of thumb, if you’ve never been to my house, and you don’t know my middle name, chances are you won’t be allowed anywhere near my wedding or my wedding planning. Stop asking. Don’t ask me if you can come, don’t ask me who my bridesmaids are going to be and definitely don’t ask me if you can come to my bachelorette party or go wedding dress shopping with me. Chances are, if you have to ask, the answer is no.
I promise you, if I wanted you there, you would know. I promise you, I will tell you.
If you don’t receive an invitation from me, please don’t ask me if I sent you one. I will lie through my teeth and tell you that it must have gotten lost in the mail and that I’ll send another one. But trust me, that invitation will never come.
Weddings generally have 50 to 300 guests. If I sent an invitation to every Joe and Sally that asked me if they could come, I’d have to have a venue as large as Montana. That’s just not the type of wedding I’m really after.
You have to give me a chance to figure out who I want there for myself. I’m only planning on ever having one wedding, so I plan on it being as special and personable as possible. I’m stressed out enough as it is trying to find a venue, picking out colors, flowers and food. I don’t need you breathing down my neck and causing me even more stress just because you feel like you need to be involved in this part of my life. Trust me, I’m stressed enough as it is.
Just, please, leave me alone. I’m a bride, not a DJ. This isn’t some college party that you can just invite yourself to. If I want to invite you, I will. If I don’t, I’m sorry.
Honestly, I don’t say that to be sarcastic, I truly am. I’m sorry that you feel that you were close enough to me to be invited. I wish I could invite everyone who wanted to come. But that just isn’t how I want to remember my wedding, and I really hope you can respect that.
Sorry, you’re still not invited.
