There is definitely an element of nature vs. nurture in this argument of turning into your parents, but as I get older, I realize that some characteristics I have are deeply rooted in the personalities of both my mom and dad—both the good and the bad.
I have begun to notice that some of my tendencies are actually not as individualistic as I thought. It is so hard to pinpoint integral when these moments happen, but upon reflection, it becomes so obvious.
From my mom, I got the whole "mom" vibe. If you know me, you have definitely heard me be referred to as Mom, capital "M" because it has replaced my name in some circles. You can catch me on any given day asking my friend if she ate dinner yet or tell her to put on a scarf.
I gravitate towards being this way and I think it is definitely because of how my mom was when I was younger. I am almost always inappropriately early for everything and I am the type to enjoy doing the more mundane tasks like laundry, dishes, and grocery shopping.
From my dad, I get my stubbornness. This may sound like a jab, but it is actually one of the things I am most grateful for. I love having a drive to keep me motivated whether it is because I do not necessarily like to be wrong or because I want to make sure I complete a task or balance a schedule, even it almost kills me.
Overall, turning into our parents may not be all that bad. It can become toxic when there is blaming one's actions on their parents. Not all traits passed down are going to be positive. Taking the deep-seated mannerisms that I was gifted from my mom and dad and tailoring them to my own life.
I want to hold onto the positive and tweak the negative traits to be create something more productive. I do not think you have to unlearn what nurture has taught you, I think you have to apply it to fit the outline of the person you are trying to become. Don't let these become a crutch, use them.
