The clock is inching towards 3 am and I have to be up in five hours but I can't stop thinking. It all started with a sad episode of Ghost Whisperer (I've just started this series and so far every episode makes me emotional) and ended with Tumblr where I found a post that really resonated with me and it is kind of long so just bare with me;
"This is just a reminder that you're allowed to be sad. Even if you're not supposed to be. Even if the sun is shining and the birds are singing, even if you're just standing in your bathroom brushing your teeth. You're allowed to feel sad when you're blowing out the birthday candles, or when you're holding your little sister on your lap. You don't owe anyone an explanation. You're allowed to be sad" (NG).
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It isn't like my life is run by sadness, but I do get down at the most random times. I have certain triggers, just like we all do, and for the sake of time and the fact that I do not know you, I will not list mine. Sometimes it takes a lot to make me sad because I can put up such a high and strong wall, but other times all it takes is a sad song and for me to get thinking and remembering. When this happens, we should recognize it instead of pushing the emotions back down under our radar. There are reasons we become sad. We are sad about something. And that something deserves to be felt. If you don't allow yourself to be sad, it will build up to a point where it is demanding attention at the absolute worst time because that's just how life works.
Try and answer this question: when was the last time you had a good cry? Many people view crying as a sign of weakness but in reality it takes great strength to confront this vulnerable emotion. Also, comforting these feelings helps with moving on. We should be able to approach our own emotions without fear and hesitation. Crying, or connecting with your emotions for that matter, brings out creativity. Art comes from emotion and is meant to be felt- not just read or looked at. Heartbroken? Write those feelings down and don't be afraid to let the tears stain the page and smudge your writing. William Shakespeare said it best (wow my Shakespeare professor would be so proud right now... maybe I'll send her the link to this), "To weep is to make less the depth of grief". Sometime, words do not suffice when it comes to great sadness; like losing a loved one. In cases like this, weeping is pretty much the only thing left and, more importantly, necessary.
This sadness is all yours. You really don't need to explain it to anyone and you don't need to share it. It is such a personal emotion that when it is shared it is a beautiful relationship building moment/experience. Personally, I don't like it when people see me sad and upset because I just feel exposed and vulnerable. But when someone does, it is someone who I love and feel a deep, personal connection with. I let them see this side of me and allow them to help me get through it and cheer me up. Sometimes, though, all I need is someone just to be with me. And when you find someone who you can do this with, it is probably worth keeping them around. Not so that you can always go to them when you feel sad, but so that you can keep the person you feel the safest with close.
However, we must make sure that we are noticing when the sadness is taking over our thinking, emotions, perceptions, and behaviors. When it comes to depression, and I am no expert so take it from someone who is, we feel sad about everything. It doesn't take a trigger, event, or loss to feel sad. Depression takes over your life. It makes absolutely everything less enjoyable, interesting, important, and worthwhile. It takes less to become impatient, angered, and frustrated. It is easier to break down and takes way longer to come back to "normal". Guy Winch has a Ph. D (wow good for him!) for this shit. He is a licensed psychologist with a Ted Talk. So basically, he knows what he is talking about and he urges everyone to take their mental health as seriously as their physical health. We must take care of our minds and emotions to the same extent that we take care of our bodies. So, if you are concerned that you may suffer from depression rather than just being sad, I urge you to take responsibility and go to a doctor, therapist, or even just someone you trust. Again, I am not an expert on depression and I will not pretend to be so this is where I will leave you.
Remember: take your emotions for what they are and let yourself experience them. Crying is a good thing- there are a number of benefits. I even have a "down in the dumps" playlist on Spotify that I play when I want to cry or when I need to cry but can't. Share your sadness and tears with someone you love, trust, and value or don't. It is completely up to you. But be safe in your sadness and recognize it as what it is.
