After discussing this in one of my classes this week, I’ve been thinking a ton about our relationship to our work as an indicator of our worth. I understand that the world of college teaches its students to be hyper-focused on working hard and achieving a certain GPA to then hopefully go on to a very successful career.

Trust me, I get it. We often feel shame when we don’t do well on a test we worked hard for, or we got the worst grade out of our friends, or we get the A- when we feel we deserved the A. But the question is, why do we feel like this? When were we taught that our work equates our personal worth? And more importantly, how can we break this cycle?

I think that a large part of this cycle and this drive to work harder and do better comes from within. It’s a very internal process. I can think of few times when I felt that love from others was contingent upon my work. But I can definitely remember times when I was incredibly hard on myself for not living up to expectations I’d set for myself.

I think we live in a world where being ordinary is not accepted like it’s not enough to get the good GPA or get into the good school. It’s a constant push to be great or even better, excellent. Now, you can’t control the outside world, but you can control the way you live and the way you treat yourself.

When I feel disappointed in myself or when I am hard on myself for my work, I think about the people I love. I think about my best friend, my boyfriend, my mom and how I would react if they were in my situation. Think about someone you love. I can guarantee you that the reasons why you love them have little to do with their GPA or their class rank and very much to do with their personality and heart. I think that the best tactic is to give yourself the love you would give to someone else. Remind yourself that your best is more than enough, the people that love you could care less about your GPA, and there is always a next time.

Why are we easy to give others a break, but so unwilling to give ourselves one? Why do we look at others and say “they did their best” and look at ourselves and say “you could’ve done better”? Why does having a high GPA make us feel worthy? I don’t know the answers to these questions and quite honestly, I’m not searching for them. All I know is I am content with living a life where I don’t sacrifice my peace for my GPA or anything else. Living this way, has brought me more than I could have ever imagined.