“Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine.” –Charlotte Erickson, You’re Doing Just Fine: Prose & Poetry from a past that was never present
There is a time in your life where you have to try and support yourself. And I don’t mean when you reach 18 and need a job to make a living kind of support. No, what I’m talking about is the kind of support you feel for within yourself. It’s the motivation you use to get up everyday and push yourself to live a happy life.
At some point we may find ourselves at a place that we think we won’t ever return from. We may be on the edge of depression, or facing a hurdle, or even just getting sick during the most important time of our lives. We may be face mental challenges, physical obstacles, or just barriers that we actually think won’t let us through. These are your chances to charge through and make yourself believe that you can do this.
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Life has thrown me some opportunities that I thought were my chances to make myself better, but it always felt that someone else was coming up behind me to block them. I’ve had weight issues, which have led to confidence issues. I’ve had personal issues that lead to guiltiness, anxiety, and wishes of wanting to change the past. I know when I’m slipping and sometimes I allow it because I feel like I deserve it. There are also my more redeeming moments where I see the same scenario reoccurring and so I make new moves to change the ending result. When I try this new way, I usually end up happy with how it turns out.
It’s all about finding your strengths while coming to terms with your weaknesses. (It’s also reading clichés like that and realizing you can relate to them). You have to look at yourself, good and hard, and take that moment to see that you are real, you are here, and that you have the choice of what life you want to lead and what actions you want to take.
I still look at myself and wish I was doing more, but I have also come to terms with where I am at and what I can do at this moment. Right now, I am a full time college student who has chosen to live at home. I feel disconnected because I don’t have that “campus living” experience, but was able to fix the problem by going out of my way to joining clubs and becoming involved. I am overweight, and I admit to making bad choices, but I have been pushing myself harder in my exercise, and trying to regain the strength at a healthier lifestyle. Also as a student, I chose to work weekends because I still needed to make money, and that was my only free time to do it. This has cost me time to go out, party, and be a “normal” college kid, but I have accepted the fact that I won’t be.
It’s almost like I clicked “agree” to the terms and conditions, and I never read them. I am still learning, growing, and make decisions at who I want to be. I have no one but myself to benefit by the choices I make, and while some may agree or disagree, I will take their opinions to mind as I keep making my own way. Supporting yourself, to me, is the best way at getting through. While I agree that having others helping along the way will benefit, it’s only you at the end of this journey. Do what makes you happy, take risks at what you think can’t be done, and make peace at knowing that you or anything in this world isn’t perfect.
You are your own support system, you carry this body and mind and you can make it.
