It’s okay not to be okay.
This is a phrase that I often forget about. We live in a world where, “How are you” is just another way to say, "Hello."
People can ask it without the intent of actually wanting to know how someone is doing. I often don't feel an urge to tell others the truth of how I'm feeling. I usually say good, even when it's not good.
But lately, I’ve experienced the power in people asking “how are you” and genuinely wanting to know. This past week I spent 6 days in Catalina without any phone service and during that time I was asked “how are you” by the most loving, intentional, and Jesus loving people I’ve ever met.
Each person who asked me how I was, was willing to listen to my story and comforted me when I wasn’t okay. It compelled me to be honest about my struggles. As the week progressed my answer went from "good" to "okay" to "I'm struggling," which opened the floodgates to those I was talking to asking why and me being vulnerable.
They made me re-learn that it’s okay not to be okay and just as important, my story matters.
I felt compelled to write this and tell you that:
Your story matters, your struggle matters, you deserve to find people who actually mean it when they ask you how you are and to not go through your suffering alone.
There is beauty in others’ joys and suffering, but what makes our joys and suffering more wonderful and tolerable is having people in our lives to share it with. My story is beautiful, sad, joyful, broken, and involves hurt. Maybe your story involves all of those things, and maybe it is different, but the most important part is that you have a story worth telling.
So I challenge you to ask, “how are you,” and to mean it; but, if you don’t then don’t ask at all. Every day people are learning that this world isn’t a “wish-granting factory,” while simultaneously and desperately trying to find the beauty in it.
Be willing to listen to the good and the bad in others lives because if your story matters and your ability to not be okay matters, then others’ matters as well.
