I wouldn't consider myself an introvert all the time but I definitely am one whenever I meet someone new. It's been difficult for me to start conversations with people I don't know. I become a whole different person and it's hard for me to open up. It wasn't always this way. I used to say whatever came to my mind and I wasn't afraid. As I've gotten older I've realized that I'm much more closed off in the beginning. I think it has to do with being scared to be vulnerable. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I'm super picky with whom I call a "friend" but in general I'm just really uncomfortable whenever I'm meeting someone new. It definitely has it's pros and cons but I've learned to love that part of me. Here's why:
1. Being careful is a good thing.
Usually, when I'm surrounded by a group of people I tend to listen more than speak. I do this because I like to listen to all of the different conversations going on around me and whenever I'm ready, I'll pitch in... just not too much. It definitely takes time for me to develop trust in any sort of relationship which should never be a "bad" thing. I'm just really cautious of the kind of people I bring into my life.
2. You know your value.
There have been multiple times I would think to myself "Omg, this person probably thinks I'm the most awkward person ever" but honestly they're opinion doesn't matter! They probably have only met you a couple of times and if you know your value, no one else's opinion about yourself should matter. I've learned to accept that yes, I am an awkward turtle at first but at the end of the day I know the kind of person I am on the inside.
3. You give yourself time to get comfortable.
This also comes along with knowing your value. Knowing what you need and giving yourself that is something that not many people can do. You know yourself and you don't do things out of your comfort zone in the beginning. If that means being shy at first then so be it. If that's what you need to do, that's what you need to do and that's totally OK.
I'm definitely not an introvert once you get to know me but for sure when you first meet me. I used to try so hard to just start conversations but I realized that that's not me and that's okay. If I have to be shy at first in order to get comfortable then I will do that. I know the kind of person I am and I know when I can and can't trust someone. Being an introvert has led to become a better listener, more observant and able to value my small group of close friends. Never let someone bring you down for being an introvert because it's never a bad thing. You just have to learn to accept that and know your worth!
