The ins and outs of perfecting a self-care routine seem daunting at first. This is quite probably because we try to go big.

We aim to fix everything that is wrong rather than selecting a goal or two to focus on.

But it's not rocket science. It's trial and error. It's keeping track of what works well and what doesn't and it's trying one positive thing at a time until you have a schedule.

I learned this the hard way after I was having full blown panic attacks for the first time in years. I had tried to sit down and come up with every possible idea that would make me feel better and implement all of them at once.

But then, amidst my panic, I became, even more, overwhelmed trying to select a self-care item that would make me feel better. I couldn't have told you what specifically worked and I didn't know where to start. Not to mention I'm one of the most indecisive people on the planet.

As a result, I realized you can't just try every remedy at once and expect to immediately feel better.

When you get sick, the doctor starts with one medicine to see the results, not every medicine under the sun that has ever been used to treat your illness.

Self-care is like that. Of course, over time, you add small habits to your regimen. But to begin, you start small.

For me, that starting point was learning to say no to activities that may drain me a bit too much. Even though I constantly have FOMO to the max, I know it's important to take some me-time when I am sleep deprived or my back hurts too much to participate.

I used to push myself to participate in every event but it is better to be 100% there on fewer days than only a fraction of your best self all the time.

After I accomplished saying no on occasion, I tackled eating healthier. Adding more fruits and veggies to my diet as well as drinking an insane amount of water made me feel noticeably better.

And after I started unconsciously making healthier choices with what I was eating I added a few check off items to my skin care and beauty routines. Buying new face scrubs and exfoliating every so often were simple additions that when done individually were not so overwhelming.

Now, my focus is towards getting back in the rhythm of an exercise routine. I would hardly call the initial run I went on to get back in the swing of things a habit, but it is a start.

To others what I focused on over an entire summer may seem like an immediate large change.

But I know it took small steps and all three months of my summer to find out what worked best for me.

It took forcing myself to write even when I didn't want to. It took admitting I hadn't held myself accountable and practicing a fair amount of tough love.

I had messed up. But that doesn't mean I have any right to throw in the towel. We are so focused on giving to others but we have to give to ourselves in order to be at our best for others.

So yes — self-care is as essential as the internet seems to portray. But don't let every online post you see fool you. You cannot do it all at once — especially if you are in a state of anxiety, to begin with.

Start small. Add on. Stay calm. Document your results. Be more aware of how you're feeling. Maybe you need to say no more or eat healthier or exercise. Maybe you need to get outside more or read every day.

Self-care is very personal, not a one size fits all pin on Pinterest.

No one can tell you what to put on your self-care checklist. It's not rocket science but you have to take the time to do it for yourself.