Growing up religion was something important to my family. We went to church and I went to CCD. My siblings had our communion and God was talked about a lot by my grandmother. Religion also wasn't pushed down our throats either. My family believed that we could have a close relationship with God without going to church. And to this day I believe that too. I truly believe you can be close to god and be religious without spending every Sunday at church.

My journey hasn't been easy. I feel I steered away from religion after my mom passing away. I steered away from it but I would pray every night. Part of me knew that God had a plan and that he was listening. While another part of me was quite sad. I never gave up on God but I also didn't follow him either.

And if I'm being honest I wish this story was about how I grew closer to him and everything is perfect. But in reality my relationship with God is no where near where I want it to be. I pray every night. I pray to my mother and I pray to God thanking him for everything he's done for me. I show gratitude but just like anything it needs work. I don't know if my relationship will ever be "perfect' but I do want it improve.

I am in no way trying to force my religion on anyone. I just wanted to talk about my personal experience. God has given me so many reasons to thank him while also giving me times where I ask myself why me. But I truly believe God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. And yes I need to improve and pray more. And yes I will get there someday. But I know that God is here to protect everybody and so is my mom.

My journey will make sense one day.