For hours, days, weeks, months, even years I have thrived on the happiness and the love of others and it has worked for me. I have let everyone else in my life be the reason that I was smiling, the reason that I was happy. I did not trust myself with my own happiness, I was convinced that my happiness was external not internal. I would literally go to people and expect them to make me smile again, make me feel something again, but sadly that is not how it works. People will only be there so long to make you smile, until eventually it becomes exhausting to be responsible for your happiness. This is not a lesson that I learned over night and it is most defiantly something that I will continue to struggle with, but I am trying. It was about a week ago that I found myself walking to class and I abruptly stopped and realized that I was smiling; no one has said anything to me, I had not received a happy text, talked to someone on the phone, nor did I receive a gift from someone. I paused and realized that I was happy with myself for getting up and being strong. I was smiling because I decided that I get to dictate how I feel, no one else. It was an amazing feeling to realize that the smile that I had was the result of me deciding to smile. People come and go, someone who made you smile yesterday can now be the reason that you walk the long way. The friend that you told everything to, now doesn’t even know how you are doing. That boy that could make you smile in a heartbeat is now the reason that you fight back tears at three in the afternoon. You see the people that used to make you smile have changed, they have now become the reason that you cry. But one person will always be constant from when you’re 3 years old to 90 years old, that person is you. If you are always a constant in your life why wouldn’t you want to make yourself smile daily? Why wouldn’t making yourself happy be a priority, when one day all you’ll have to make you happy is you. If you strive to make yourself smile every day, one day when someone else enters your world they will simply enhance your smile not be fully responsible for your smile. When you can truly rely on yourself to make you smile, when people leave the smile will remain because you will always be there to make yourself smile. Being able to smile on your own does not mean that you have to be alone or have no friends; it just simply means that you aren’t reliant on a happy text, a kind word, a surprise from someone, a joke, or another person's energy to make you smile. Please allow yourself to be in control of your happiness, no one else; be able to wake up every day and smile because of who you are and because you control how you feel every second of every day. In an hour, a day, a week, a month, or maybe even a year you will be able to take complete responsibility for the smile on your face that makes you beautiful in every way. One day someone will see you smiling and when they ask why you can look them in the eyes and say because I make myself happy.
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Luckily, many colleges offer a number of ways to take part in campus and community life, without forcing you to dedicate all of your time to these organizations. Here are a few ideas!
1. Look into Housing and Dining.
Many first-year students start off college life in residence halls, and the Housing & Dining network throughout campus often provides multiple opportunities for students throughout the year. Many buildings have student community councils that work to create policies and events that make the dorms a more welcoming home for residents. Becoming a community assistant (or the students who work the desks at the front of many halls) is another easy way to have a consistent, well-paying job only minutes away from your room.
If you really enjoyed your housing experience, consider applying to be an RLA, or, if the school offers it, help to teach the first-year community. You'll get the chance to help support new and returning students over the year, and many of these positions also cover major costs like board and meal plans.
2. Pay attention to campus postings.
This advice is more obvious, but it still gets overlooked a fair amount. Even on a busy day, taking the time to stop around campus and look at the flyers advertising clubs and events can draw your attention to something that you never would've noticed otherwise. Students on many campuses also chalk the sidewalk to catch students' attention while they walk to class. Just make sure that the event you're interested in hasn't taken place already!
3. Find common interest groups.
One way to find friends and get involved is to focus on what you're passionate about. Have you always loved to sing? Do you enjoy playing video games? Is photography your favorite past-time? Have you always wanted to join Greek life? Whatever you love devoting your time to, chances are there are organizations around school who are focused on the same thing. Check the student life section of your university's website, or stop by a student organization fair at the beginning of the semester.
4. Join an intramural sports team.
If you're the athletic type, you've probably heard of intramural sports. Often offered through the Rec Center or the residence halls, most colleges often offer various indoor and outdoor sports to take part in throughout the year. Personal favorite? Mini golf.
5. Work on a cause that you care about.
Whether you're passionate about a political group, a social cause, or a religion, working with people who value beliefs similar to yours can be an easy way to meet people, get a better sense of your own identity, and promote causes that are important to you. Look into getting involved with College Democrats, Republicans, or whatever party that you belong to. Find a club that supports social issues, from women's rights to protecting the environment. If you're religious, look into student organizations based on your faith.
6. Join a club related to your major.
Even if you're not entirely sure what you want to do after school, finding a club or organization related to your field of studies can benefit you long after you leave the classroom. From career-related workshops to conferences to professional connections, these groups have a lot to boast.
7. Get an on-campus job.
If you have the time, need to work, or want to save a few extra dollars, finding a job on or near campus is a time-effective way to build up your bank account and gain work experience. Check in your residence hall (see #1), at local businesses and offices, or make an appointment with your school's career center.
8. Volunteer.
When you're caught up in school life, it can be hard to think about the bigger picture. Volunteering your time to people (or animals/an environment) in need puts things in perspective and allows you to feel good while making a positive difference. Check if your college town has a volunteer page, or look up local organizations requesting help.
Best of luck this year! Get out, and get busy.
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