"Rein in"

Example: "The police have been trying to rein in this community for years"

I know that is usually never someone's intent, but when you used words like "rein in," "calm down," and "that's not how they should do it," you are using phrases that refer to controlling someone. The police and government should never be controlling a population. The police are meant to help the community, not change it. The people get to decide what is acceptable. We have a social contract with the government, and if that contract has been broken, we have every right to be loud, cause chaos, and protest in any way we see fit. As Trevor Noah said, "There is no right way to protest because that's what protest is. It can't be considered 'right' by the system that it is protesting." The police and government are here to protect and support the community, not control it.

"I'm not a racist but.../because..."

Example: "I'm not a racist, but I don't want to live in a Black neighborhood" or "I'm not racist, because I had/have tons of Black, Mexican, Latino, Korean, etc. friends"

This one I find to be very simple — If you have to convince other people that you are not a racist, more often than not, you are.

There are levels of racism, and every one of them is wrong, but I believe that the most prevalent one is subconscious racism. People know racism is wrong, and yet it still occurs all of the time. There is a sense of shame around the word because no one wants to be a racist. So, our minds try to create a loophole, stating that, "I'm not a racist" as if saying it is enough. We use the word but in an attempt to soften the blow, saying something that would otherwise be obviously racist.

"For a..."

Example: "Wow, you're smart for a Black boy" or "You're strong for a girl" or "Your hair is so lovely for a…"

"For a" is the easiest way to smack someone in the face and call it a compliment. No one should ever be considered a "for a..." This phase shows how society has categorized people by gender, religion, sex, race, school district, and so much more. It's like saying, "Hold on, let me compare you to everyone I think you represent" and act surprised when you step out of a box you didn't choose.

Someone once told me, "You get decent grades for someone who can't speak right," as if my accent and tone of voice allowed them to judge me. People do not have to live in or stick to the boxes you have created in your mind. We are not "For a's," we are just ourselves. The versions of us you have created in your mind are not our responsibility to uphold.

"We are all the same/I don't see color"

Example: "The color of your skin doesn't matter to me."

It is a fact that we are not all the same. I have a learning disability and grew up at an elementary school where fights broke out regularly. My family was one of only a few whites in our neighborhood. That had an effect on me. That makes me different than you. The same and so much more can be said for any person of color. People of color in this country have been set up to fail. It is systematic and a gross human rights violation. Unfortunately, we live in a world where money matters. The truth is the only reason white people have it better is that they "owned" stolen property when our country was beginning. This followed families through-out generations and created the communities of the privileged and underserved today. We are not the same. I have privilege because I am white. The only way to fix that is to recognize it because when you disregard someone's culture, color, and upbringing, you are saying the problem never existed at all.

"He/she/they are just doing their job"

Example: "I understand it's wrong, but he was just doing his job" or "That's what they are trained for" or "That's her job, it's what she gets paid for."

I will make this last one short and simple. While I know it is a tough choice to make — should you do what is comfortable and keep your income or take the long road and do what is right? What would you pick? What is right remains the same, it does not change because of your job title or status. If your job requires you to do something you don't agree with, on a deeply personal and moral level, GET A NEW JOB. Stop making excuses because if you need to stop what you are doing because of a camera, you should have never done it in the first place.