Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2020: Wear. Sunscreen. Totally kidding, and if you know that line, you're my new best friend. However, I know what you’re thinking: "Another article informing vulnerable and timid freshman what to expect…sigh, yawn, I’ve heard it before.“ But keep reading. Here, right before your eyes, is an article of one thing I, as a freshman, did not expect. And you may not either.
Three long and life changing years ago-- harp music plays-- I came to college excited and ready. Prepared for new beginnings. Anticipating new friends, a new home, a new school and a brand new me. Change is good, right? I was ready! Sure. Let’s do this. It was all planned to be a perfect start to my new up and coming life. My problem area? I expected.
Recommended for you
I remember it, not like yesterday, but more like 10 minutes ago. My mom and grandmother had just helped me move into my dorm room and were getting ready to leave not just the campus, but me as well. I felt shaky and anxious, but in a good way. Dreading for them to leave, I asked, “ Can we go to Taco Bell?” trying so desperately to gain a few more minutes with them. When we got back from our short 15-minute fast food run, I began to cry into my soft shell taco. Not pretty cry either. Ugly cry, like Kim Kardashian. We all know the face. “This is going to be great! Now quit crying,” My mom told me.
I had heard it before. It was everything I had been telling myself all summer except, what happened? I was afraid. It was easy to “be excited” when the time for college was three months away. But here it was, and all I could do was cry. Getting out and shutting the car door, the unexpected came. I stood, with no one holding my hand for comfort, in front of a brand new strange life alone. Nothing was clearer to me than realizing my old life, the only one I had ever known, was over. Alone I was, and alone I did not want to be. I wanted to go home. “Forget this new beginning! Familiar is comfortable, and I am not getting out of my comfort zone!” I remember saying to myself. And ever so softly, God whispered, “How can you create new when you want to remain in the old?”
There standing in front of me, was my new door, written in bold letters across it, “Only Journey Allowed.” I reached for the handle and gave my fear to God…
Blotchy faced and all, I dragged myself into the Garrett auditorium for a required chorale rehearsal. I sat next to an “I met you a hour ago” familiar face trying my best to hide my runny nose from her. My acting skills were obviously not up to par because she looked at me with caring blue eyes and said, “I cried too. It’s okay to be upset. I know how you feel.” Should this girl read this and remember that moment, smile and please understand that those little words gave me enough strength to carry on. For it was in that, I realized I wasn’t alone. I was among 100+ students feeling the exact same way I did. We were all looking for a new beginning, a new chapter to our book. We were all united in this “alone and vulnerable” state of heart and mind. Little did I understand, everyone was doing the same, searching for something to cling to. I had found a common ground with those around me, and that gave me the comfort to pull it together and introduce myself to the world. Well, to Blue Mountain anyway.
I’ll tell you something they won’t tell you. College is terrifying. College will chew you up and spit you right back out with a smile on its face. It will isolate you from everyone you used to know and introduce you to complete strangers only to say, “Good luck.” However, in the strongest way, I will stress that college will teach you who you are in such difficult predicaments. You will be pushed out of that comfort zone and take those panicked and timid first steps into your new beginning. You will find that you were never alone. These new “strangers” you meet, they won’t just become your friends at school. They will become your family.
So when you are in your dorm room on the third day of college, hermitting it up in bed at 1:00 p.m., please remember your new beginning is out there. Not in your twin XL sized sheets and bowl of ramen noodles. It’s with everyone else, the people you don’t know. For in those awkward situations and random conversations, you finally discover your new life, your new chapter, your new beginning. And, that my friends, is where you find yourself.
