In the wake of well-known men being called out for inappropriate behavior toward women (ie: Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Louis C.K., Morgan Freeman; I honestly could keep going but you get the idea) there is one constant I have come across that I can no longer stand to ignore.
Men are attempting to define what qualifies sexual assault/ harassment.
What I mean by that is quite simple, I have seen countless examples of men justifying the behaviors of other men or celebrities they may admire by saying things like "Well, I wouldn't really qualify that as harassment. Hold a door open for a woman now and you're a predator."
Excuse me, but fuck no. Men do not get to decide what women define as an uncomfortable interaction, harassment, assault or rape.
This blasé attitude toward rape culture is undoubtably one of the reasons the #MeToo movement has become such a force to be reckoned with. If women and their accounts of trauma weren't constantly neglected, even by third parties with no ties to either the accused or accuser (I'm looking at you Morgan Freeman deniers), then maybe we wouldn't be having a weekly roundup of celebrities with their pants down. Perhaps instead, these men never would have felt so entitled in the first place.
Men who behave like this could have several motivations:
1. They are saying these things in order to justify their own past actions in which they treated a woman like shit, made an inappropriate comment or worse. It's not about standing up for what's right, it's about trembling in fear that they'll be next.
2. They hate women. (Yeah that one is pretty cut and dry.)
3. Or maybe they just really really can't deal with the concept that the celebrity they adore may actually be a garbage human.
Now I have to clarify I don't mean all men. In fact, I'm not even sure all of these men who do call accusers things like liars and attention seekers have a very thorough understanding of what they are so worked up about. I genuinely don't think they understand the trauma associated with feeling sexualized and demeaned and the difficulty that comes along with sharing that information to anyone, let alone the general public.
Victim blaming is not cute. The court of public opinion is also not cute. If I told you I thought a man with a pattern of violent behavior murdered my best friend, then I doubt it would take a jury to convince you. So why is it even when men are found guilty, some men still excuse their behavior?
I know that every woman has had a point in her life where a man has made her feel uncomfortable, worried or fearful, whether she acknowledges it or not. It is up to us as a society of rational individuals to not dismiss these women simply because we don't want to accept that some men are evil.
