Today, I concluded my extremely stressful, emotion-filled, awful week with a memorial service for a close family friend (side note: thank you to everyone who helped me through this week). Although it was quite sad, as most funerals and memorial services are, there was something very important that I took from it, from the reverend who spoke. She shared an idea that she had heard: when people die, and their family members include the whole “birthdate-death date” on things such as grave stones, people tend to focus on the dates, but is that really the important part? In most cases, that person had so many other important days in their lives than just their date of birth and death. So what really is the important part? Her opinion, which I have also adopted, is that the true important part is the dash in between the dates. That dash holds so many dates, so many memories, so many laughs.
This really got me thinking about my own “dash”. Sure, I’m clearly still living, so I don’t have an end date after my dash, but regardless, I still have a dash. When I eventually get that end date, how do I want my dash to look? It truly made me think again about things that people always tell me during these types of things. The whole, “tell those you care about that you love them, forgive easily, and be generous with the forgiveness you give to others”. This truly hit me harder than normal, after my incredibly difficult week, so I just wanted to share some of these things while I’m still living out my dash.
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To my friends, family, and everyone I’ve ever been close to: I love you. Even if we don’t talk any more, or if we talk every day, I love you and I’m here for you. If we stopped talking years ago, or just recently, I love you and I’m here for you. If you did me wrong at some point, I love you, I forgive you, and I’m here for you. If I did you wrong at some point, I love you, I’m sorry, I’m here for you, and I hope you are still here for me. I think of myself as a very open-minded, optimistic person, so I just want to make sure that anyone reading this that knows me knows that no matter what you might have done, or might do, and anything that I might have done, or might do, it’s all going to be okay. Let’s forgive and forget so we can continue to live out our dash in a way that we would be proud of when the time comes to finish out that “birth date- end date”. So if any of you reading this ever need anything at all, no matter what it is, how long it has been since we last talked, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Know that I am working on forgiving easily, and I hope you all can do the same.
I think it is the perfect metaphor for the common saying: “life is too short”. I mean think about it, the dash is the shortest part of the “birth date- death date”, isn’t it? The scary part is that this dash is the shortest, yet most important part. So as you go on with your day, your month, your year, your dash, just remember that life is short. When you get to the end of your dash, what are you going to remember most? All of the things you had, or all of the people you’ve had in your life? More than likely, it will be the latter. So go out there. Create some laughs. Go love people, all people, those you are closest to and those you aren’t. Go forgive those who did you wrong, ask for forgiveness from those who you did wrong, and move on. Don’t reminisce on the bad, just focus on the love. And if God forbid you have to lose some people along the way, make sure you let them know that you love them, and then go make some more good memories and let new people in. Sure, every day may not be the easiest, trust me, after this week, I will be the first to tell you that, but there is most definitely some comfort in making things right with all people by spreading love, making positive memories and just laughing with friends and family.
I just want to conclude this by adding a huge thank you to everyone who has been there for me, especially this week. Without you all, I wouldn’t have had the inspiration to write this article. So thank you to my family, to my sisters, and to my friends (extra shout outs to: my best friend Lucy for bringing me a slushy, extending my deadline for this very article and loving me unconditionally, to my best friends and my parents for being there for me, to Mckenzey and Ryan for talking to me for hours longer than they needed to and offering to buy me Mike’s and chocolate, to my roommate Paige for being there for me and buying me a polar pop, to Cassidy for telling me she loves me in the bait shop even though she didn’t even realize how much it meant to me at the time and to Paige W. and Alyssa for taking the time out of their day to text me when I really needed them along with the rest of my sisters at our event who were just there for me. I love you all.)
