Like many, I usually dance around race issues, remaining silent for fear that I will say the wrong thing or that it is not my place to speak on something I cannot possibly comprehend. But above all, I aim in life to not be uninformed or unjust, which is why I feel a strong need to address this. I think if everyone was willing to understand what other people go through, this would be a much better world for all of us. It begins with us becoming better listeners.

But for us to become better listeners, there first needs to be a conversation. We can no longer dance around topics that make us uncomfortable, otherwise, they will never change. So, I decided that I wanted to have the race talk that no one wants to have with my friend who is a minority. I told her that, in light of recent events (police officers shooting Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, a black man found hanging from a tree in Atlanta, and snipers at a black lives matter protest in Dallas) I wanted to have a conversation with her about these events, an intellectual discussion where we both would ultimately come to understand one another better.

She declared, "It angers me when people say, 'Well, if you did what you were told...' or 'They should've listened...' This isn't about obeying or disobeying. This is about a gross misuse of force and power by people that are untrained and ignorant with no fear of consequences."

What I aimed to convey to her was this: I think it's more than just a misuse of power. I believe that racism is ingrained into our society, that we are taught to fear others based on the color of their skin without us being consciously aware of it. One article addresses the fact that police officers do not need to be "conscious, overt racists to do what they did." The article, which is titled "The Science of Why Cops Shoot Young Black Men" explains that we are not born with racial prejudices and may have never been specifically taught them. Our brains constantly categorize which can lead to prejudice. However, once we are aware of this, it may be possible to train our brains to think differently. Fear and lack of understanding of another group of people are what I believe is feeding misuse of power, but acknowledging this and becoming more informed could potentially reverse our inaccurate belief systems.

To this, she pointed out that if a police officer fears for their life, they should injure the person or use a taser rather than shoot to kill. This is absolutely true. However, I believe that some people have this viewpoint that officers are maliciously gunning down men just because they can. I would like to offer a different perspective. I am not attempting to justify their actions and I don't believe that what happened was right. I agree that this is absolutely a race issue, but I'm not certain it is the race issue you believe it to be.

In the Philando Castile video that shows the aftermath of him being shot by an officer, the cop exclaims, "I told him not to reach for it!" The girlfriend of Castile replies, "You told him to get his ID, sir." Despite this, you can hear the stress in his voice, and you can tell he actually believed that Castile was reaching for a gun.

In the Alton Sterling case, sources say a homeless man was the person who called the police. He told them that Sterling had pulled a gun on him when he was overly persistent about asking Sterling for money.

From these two instances, here is the conclusion that I draw. Though I can understand why people who have repeatedly seen these instances occur and innocent lives being taken come to the conclusion that officers are doing it purposefully, I don't believe that is the truth. I think these officers were indirectly or directly taught to fear African-Americans throughout their lives. As with the article I mentioned earlier, people can be racist without being consciously aware of it. I think that, in these two cases above, the officers had this thought process: This person has a gun and could harm me; I need to protect myself before they take my life. The underlying race issue here is that they believe that they are more likely to be harmed by a black person than by a white person. An African-American police officer posted this video stating that any officer who cannot do their job in protecting the people they have sworn to protect should find a new line of work. Unfortunately, if racism is so ingrained that people do not even realize that they are racist, oblivious to the fact that they are incapable of making a rational decision in these situations, then they are not aware they need to pursue an alternative career path. However, I know this is not the perspective that many take. As my friend stated it, "I see them as doing it more out of malice than fear."

Regardless of whether officers are purposefully treating African-Americans more brutally, though, it cannot be denied at this point that there is an issue. According to a New York Times Article, despite the fact that officers use force in less than 2 percent of all interactions with civilians, they are more than three times more likely to use force with African-Americans than with whites. Furthermore, another article demonstrates that black teens are 21 times more likely to be killed by cops than white teens are.

This is why I am glad I chose to have this talk with my friend. I think the only way to progress towards resolving racism, or any form of prejudice for that matter, is closing the gap where each side is not understanding where the other is coming from. People must have these conversations. Being silent about race issues doesn't prevent them. There's a study that shows that even babies show a racial bias and tend to play with children of their own ethnicity. There's also evidence that suggests that it is important for white parents to have open conversations about race with their children and ensure that they also play with children who are not the same race as them. Can you imagine if all parents initiated these conversations? Can you fathom if they addressed various forms of prejudice with their children at a young age? If we all taught our sons and daughters that it is acceptable to have these conversations so long as it is done with respect and an open mind, just envision the outcome.

Based on this, I propose that if we really want to see a change in this country, we adopt a new strategy. The motto: "You listen to me and I'll listen to you." The purpose: To develop relationships or initiate conversations based in the interest of not only getting to know others better, but also understand the perspective of others. Empathy may be the greatest tool for ending prejudice. The study discussed in this article implies that the simple act of putting ourselves into another person's shoes can lower our unconscious biases. Though there will likely always be people who do not understand you, there are many groups within this country that have faced unjustified prejudice and discrimination who can. The place to start is with reaching an understanding with those who can empathize, rather than demand justice from those who are blind to opposing viewpoints. The means by which we can change systemic racism is through first addressing individual racism; people never change their minds simply because they are told to.

Any group that undergoes prejudice, discrimination and hatred for centuries is worth 30 seconds of your attention and empathy. For this reason, I sincerely apologize to all minorities within this country. I know all too well what it is like to be aware you will never receive an apology, validation, or compassion in any form from those responsible for your pain. I will never deal with racism firsthand, but I know what it is like to be made to feel as though your life has less worth due to something you cannot change. I apologize for the fact that you were born into a country that has one hand over their eyes, the other on the trigger, while your hands are simply in the air. No one is an authority on how much your life matters, but if it is any consolation, your lives matter to me.