I’ve always had a desire to please other people. I don’t like to hurt others’ feelings, I don’t like to disappoint people and I don’t like others thinking negatively of me. No matter what, I would always want to make everyone think of me as this amazing, bubbly, helpful friend they can turn to whenever necessary. If someone ever asked me for a favor or to hang out I always felt obligated to. If someone didn’t feel like they could be open with me, I made it a priority to gain their trust. If I ever suspected I didn’t meet these qualities with someone it used to really bother me, and I would do what I could to fix it. My desire to be liked by everyone made me overthink about even the most shoestring tasks, like whether or not someone would be mad if I unfollowed them on twitter.

Within the past year or so, I’ve begun learning how to live for myself, rather than letting other people’s reactions dictate what I do. There’s a quote circulating the internet by Dita Von Teese that says, “You could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.” I’m a huge fan of living by quotes and sayings, no matter how cheesy they are, and this was one that really stuck with me.

I realized it’s impossible to please everyone. No one in the entire word has the ability to make everyone else happy, and that’s okay. Humans can never guarantee how a different person will react to something, but we can assure that we will be happy as long as we make choices that we’re satisfied with. It’s too draining for any person to worry so much about what other people think of them, and constantly worrying is unhealthy. Having someone disagree or be displeased with you is an inevitable part of life. Once you understand and accept this fact you can focus on acting in ways that make you happy.

So your boyfriend doesn’t want you to get a tattoo, but you’ve been wanting the same one for years?

So your parents don’t think you should dye your hair, but you think it’ll feel amazing to make a change?

So your friends are criticizing you on who you choose to date, but you know how right it feels to be with that person?

So what? Your response to anyone trying to tell you how to live should be “so what?” As long as you are focusing on yourself and not hurting anyone else in the process then you don’t need anyone else’s validation.

I still like to please others and make my loved ones happy, and I don’t think that’s a bad trait for anyone to have. But now, rather than letting that be my number one focus, I target my decisions at making myself the happiest. It’s nice to take other’s opinions into account, but at the end of the day you’re the one that has to live with whatever you choose. Live your life for yourself and in return, you’ll be living a life that makes you happy.