It would mean closing a chapter. A chapter that still remains unfinished about a sport taken away too soon and without warning.
It would mean a chance at freedom. That feeling that you only get when you are making the perfect catch, or flying through the air for the perfect save.
It would mean a chance to say thank you. To the sport I love, to the people who gave me the chance to the play, and the teammates who had my back.
It would mean a second chance. To not take for granted the days I got on the field, and to remember what it felt like to be amazing.
It would mean walking away. I think that would be it, if I got one more game. I would end it right there and be okay with that. Because put simply, it would be the moment I never got.
Throughout your career, you are told a million times: don’t take this for granted, play every game like it's your last. So, let me make it a million and one: “play every game like it's your last, practice every day like you’ll never lace up your shoes again.” You never think it will happen, but it does, and I am proof of that.
I thought I would make it through the season, fighting through an injury and an illness that were saying otherwise. Everyone, and I mean everyone saw the writing on the wall except for me. So, I kept practicing and kept pushing, and then it happened. One day, it became too much, and my body finally said, "I am done." While I was blacked out on the ground, my parents and my coach made a decision for me that would change everything: I was done playing the sport I loved.
Here I was, a college senior, ready to win a championship, graduate early, play overseas and vie for a coveted All-American spot-- my dream for as long as I can remember, but in the blink of an eye, my career was over. Again, you never think it's going to happen to you, but then it does.
So, as all of you athletes are getting into the heart of your season, or the beginning of your non-traditional season, I ask one thing of you: don’t take a moment for granted. Every time you lace up your cleats, feel the laces running through your fingers. Every time you get the chance to get back on the field after a tough loss, let that anger burn inside of you like a fire, to make yourself better. Every time your teammate comes and gives you a hug, whether in celebration or mournful tears, don’t be the first to let go.
Breathe in every time the ball touches your body, every mistake fight to make better, and every glorious moment, celebrate. You’ve worked your whole life to be in the position you are; on the top club team, varsity, or college. This has been what you wanted, and you are there, for now. You have no idea what tomorrow will bring; if you will be healthy for that tournament in a month, for that state championship game in a few weeks, for that NCAA game come October. You have no idea if an injury will come or something else unforeseen will happen, so stop looking ahead and embrace the practice, the video session, the pasta party, and the game that you are in NOW because, that is all you have guaranteed.
We take for granted the opportunities that we have to play our sport, not knowing what it is like to face the possibility of losing it permanently. We don’t think that way, which is good in a sense, but naive in so many others.
So, I have one question to ask you: if tomorrow was your last game, your last practice, your last time playing the sport you love, what would you do? How would you go out? That thought that you have right now, I say go do it. Do it fearlessly, boldly, and with your whole heart; because at least if you go into every chance you get with that mindset, if you were to have to walk away, and I pray you never do, at least you’d be able to walk away with no regrets.
Instead of looking at the next moment, look at the now and ask yourself "if this is it, what would I want it to be, what I would I want to do, how would I want to be remembered?" Now go make it that moment.
