When I went through rush at Indiana University a few years ago, I received bids from a few fraternities. Some houses were a higher tier than others, but my older brother, who had went through rush four years prior to me, gave me a piece of advice that I have continued to pass down to potential new members each semester. He told me to “Join the house where you have the most friends,” and while I didn’t quite understand what his intentions were then, I have come to learn the true meaning of his words.

To be honest, he took me by surprise, and I was confused by what he said to me. I was rushing the fraternity that he had joined and I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t advising me to join his chapter. I mean, he posted about his love for his chapter via social media about once a week. He constantly spoke of his chapter, their accomplishments, their strong brotherhood, and their hard work. As a freshman, I actually believed he would marry his chapter if could.

What I later came to realize was the fact that he gave me that piece of advice because he would rather I not join his beloved fraternity if it meant that I was not satisfied with my choice. He only wanted me to join if I felt that his house, out of every other house that I visited, provided me with the most friends.

I won’t lie to you, his chapter was the absolute lowest tier fraternity out of all the chapters that provided me with a bid. But I kept an open mind and stuck with his advice.

I joined the house that I felt provided me with the most friends.

I cannot begin to explain how many of my friends have remained in a chapter that they actually hate, or have eventually left their chapter. Personally, I can’t imagine that. How could you hate your own brotherhood?

The answer is simple: they joined a house without considering where they had the most friends. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand how easy it is to do that. While freshmen endure rush, they are easily hypnotized with the big flashy mansions, the kitchen staff, the reputation, and the other Greeks that they pair with socially.

A lot of Greeks brag about their brotherhood. It’s inevitable, but there is a good reason why you can’t escape organizations bragging about their bond. You share everything with these people; secretes, ritual, personal issues, living spaces, social events, notes from class, etc.

Over time, you have form a bond that is unique in many ways. This bond does not compare to any other bond you can share with anyone else. Shortly after joining a Greek organization, you have a house of best friends and family members; you share a special friendship that you didn’t even know was possible to obtain.

You find yourself performing selfless acts for people that you identify as siblings. You find yourself thanking fate for bringing these people into your life each night. You find yourself imagining these people remaining at your side when you get married, have children, and celebrate accomplishments, and you know that every single one of them will be at your funeral, thanking God that they were lucky enough to experience life with you.

The majority of Greek organizations experience these unbreakable bonds of brotherhood, and they most definitely know that they do not “pay for their friends,” as so many people like to suggest.

Recently, I have had the opportunity to see how strong by brotherhood truly is. I would live and die for these men, and I could not be more blessed to have them in my life. I can honestly say that I have joined the fraternity that provided me with the most friends.

Ultimately, fraternities and sororities can be separated by tiers and expect to recruit the best members based on their social status, but we cannot deny that we each share a special brotherhood that is like no other, and when times are tough, we have an army of siblings at our side ready to tackle any obstacles that life creates.