I can still remember the words, "Your grandma has cancer."

It was a couple of days after Christmas and everything was going well. I had finished my first semester of college and gotten solid grades and made some good friendships. I felt high on life like nothing could hurt me. I couldn't wait to return to school and hear what my friends had done over their Christmas break. Then, my parents called me downstairs and my world changed forever. They sat me down and said the four words I will never forget, "your grandma has cancer."

I remember sitting on the floor of my room afterwards, holding back tears and trying to figure out what to do. I wanted to be strong for my family, but inside I was scared of losing my grandma. I texted one of my friends a simple text of, "my grandma has cancer." Her response was "I'm sorry." At the time I didn't think that was an adequate response, but how else should someone respond to that text.

A week later I returned to campus to begin my second semester of classes. Every class seemed more difficult than last semester and I couldn't seem to forget the words, "Your grandma has cancer." The day of my grandma's surgery was quickly approaching and every breath seemed to remind me of the words, "Your grandma has cancer." No matter what I did I seemed to hear those words. The night before her surgery I sat in my bed sobbing at the realization that it was no longer just words it was a fact. She had cancer and she was going to have to battle this cancer. Not only was she going to have to battle this cancer, but she was going to battle this cancer without me.

My grandma had been there for me throughout every step of my life. She had been present at every birthday party and every sporting event. She was one of my greatest supporters and suddenly when she needed support I wasn't going to be there to give it to her.

I looked to my friends on campus for support as I dealt with these emotions and their responses were always meant to be comforting, but no one could understand the pain and emotions I had. I felt that I was the only person not being there for my grandma when she needed me the most. My grades continued to fall and I couldn't seem to figure out how to live my life without the weight and sadness that the words, "Your grandma has cancer" brought me.

Very slowly I started to realize that my grandma wouldn't want me to sit in my dorm crying every day. She wouldn't want to see my grades fall. She wouldn't want to see me hurt. She wanted me to be happy and she wanted to see me accomplish things in life. Yes, my grandma has cancer, but that doesn't mean she can't see the pictures I send her. That doesn't mean I can't talk to her on the phone and tell her I love her. She has cancer, but she is a fighter and so am I. I will fight to see that cancer doesn't define my grandma and she is still the women who taught me so many lovely lessons when I was little. No matter what happens she is still the women I love.