1. Going to someone else’s house will never be the same.
Especially if they are a quiet family. The only time it’s quiet in your house is when you, or everyone else, are asleep. You hate awkward silences and always need noise doing homework, cleaning, or even being the shower. You usually used it to block out all of the other noise and chaos going on throughout the house growing up so it has become second nature to jam out constantly.
2. You've learned to tell people how it is.
Your family does not have a filter. You may have had to learned to develop one due to social standards, but you are usually the friend who tells others if their jeans really make their butt look good or not.
3. You always have crude or offensive jokes running through your mind.
It was the only way to survive in your house growing up. Being teased, taunted, and made fun of was a daily occurrence in your house. The way you all bond is by a rousing game of Cards Against Humanity with your grandparents and immediate family. Let's just say it is never boring in your house.
4. You can't bring your family out in public.
You yell, scream, and laugh at each other at home every second possible. Although, once you go in public you have learned that you will have the attention drawn to your family. You will always be the loudest, craziest people at a restaurant but you are sure to make your waiter or waitress’s shift rather interesting.
5. You never leave anywhere on time.
When you go places, your family always seems to make new friends or know every person walking on the street. They never stop talking to strangers, no matter how much they told you not to while you were growing up. You have spent what seems like half your life in the grocery checkout aisle talking to random strangers about how the price of chicken has gone up or about the place that one lady does her hair.
6. Every family get together is like a loud recap of a reality television show.
.
Everyone always seems ask how school is no matter when they last saw or spoke to you. They make sure they tell you every small thing that you may have missed while you’ve been at school. You are now updated about how your grandma had to recently change her dog's food due to the "bowel movements" all over her kitchen floor. Not only that, but things may get rather crazy once a bottle of wine gets pulled out. Once Aunt Kathy has a few too many glasses you know to stay away because she seems to start telling Aunt Shirley how she’s still angry at her about not being invited to her son’s birthday get together last year even though she was on vacation. Although, the tipsy stories that slip out tend to be interesting enough to hold you over for the evening.
7. If you ever have an event where they are in the audience, they usually make up half of the crowd and all of the noise.
Having done many speaking events involving theater, multiple graduations, and quite a many presentations, your whole family always wanted to be invited to each occasion. They usually save the first three to four rows closest to the stage, and make it known they are there by the obnoxious laughter during the performance or the loud "WHOOP WHOOPS" and roaring applause following the event. Everyone knows where your family is sitting during curtain call because as soon as you bow practically the whole audience is on their feet obnoxiously screaming your name.
8. You’ll never lose them in a crowd or a store.
They are loud and will make it known to the whole store where they are in order to find you.
9. You have to mentally prepare all of your friends before they meet your family.
You have to give them a low down of how your mom may tell them super embarrassing things about you, or give them advice about boys when they didn’t ask for it. There is no easy way to break it down so you have to make sure you give them the craziest examples of what they have said in order to get your point across. It usually helps to have your friends who have met them confirm how crazy they are so it does not sound like you're the crazy one.
10. Meeting the boyfriend is always a family event.
Having your boyfriend being asked what his intentions with you are, is the least of your worries. The phrase, “I will rip your man parts off if you hurt my daughter,” is a much more common phrase with your family... and that’s if they are trying to be nice. Death threats are also common on the first date. If they can't pass that test, then they sure be around long.
11. Honesty is the best policy… except when it is not.
Having your aunt speak a made up language to you in order to convince you that you are an adopted alien from a different planet when you're 10 years old at Thanksgiving is normal. Being tormented goes all the way to the point of creating crazy lies about who "your real parents are" while munching on a turkey leg. Although, this means that you have learned when to spot a lie from a mile away and have become pretty good at fooling your family members yourself in your older age.
12. You'll never be able to be embarrassed.
Your family is the definition of embarrassment. From telling the guys you like all the embarrassing factoids about you pooping in your dad's shoe at one year of age, to dropping you off at school in the morning while simultaneously honking the car horn and yelling, “WOOO WOOO!! NICE BUTT!” out the window. So pretty much anything your friends could say or do to embarrass you is nonexistent. Let’s just say your future children are really in for it.
No matter how loud, obnoxious, and downright embarrassing your family can be, you have learned a lot from them. You have learned how to be confident in yourself and how to have fun in life. You are able to ask someone for directions without any shame and you are always the first person to say you’re willing to chop someone at the kneecaps if they break your friend’s heart. You have learned to love people in your life passionately and wholeheartedly because no matter how crazy your family is that is their way of showing their love for you. They are a huge part of your life. They will always be there for you when life pushes you down. So no matter how much you feel like your family is making you want to move across the country to get a second of peace and quiet, you would not ask to have them any other way.
