Imagine your perfect morning. You wake up on the right side of bed, throw on your comfiest sweatshirt, and decide to brew up a pot of coffee. Rather than the whole spill-it-on-your-pants kind of Monday morning story, mine starts with a broken coffee machine. Not only is your coffee machine out of order, but you’re all out of your favorite brew. You decide to go with it and have some tea for a change, but quickly realize that your roommate has taken your to-go mug with them. Sounds like a sh**ty morning, right? Yeah, well it gets worse. Suppose you try and make the best of this situation by stopping for a quick cup of joe at your favorite coffee shop. Turns out, not only are they closed for the day, you're also already late for your next class and won’t have time for that pick me up americano. Yikes.
Life has a tendency to throw some sh*t at you. Not saying that this exact scenario is the worst thing that could happen, but the morning could’ve gone a lot smoother. Lately, my life has been very similar to the coffee-less morning. In fact, the entire last semester has felt like I keep trying my hardest to make the best of what life throws at me, but I can’t seem to catch a break. As an RA, I spend most of my time helping other college students discover themselves, their passions, and helping them with their own struggles. I am involved in student government, several clubs, and have my own class schedule. I have had to prioritize my life and some of my passions have fell through the cracks. I've had so much work induced stress, struggled with mental health, and lost connections with many friends. Lately, when people ask me how I am doing and I say “fine,” I really want to say, “my life is a steaming pile of shit and I need some help feeling validated and appreciated.” College is hard enough, but it is even harder when you give 200% and it still isn’t good enough.
And that’s what I want to talk to you about. I want you to know that your best IS good enough. If you have been feeling rejected by your job, friends, lover, dog, etc., and feel like you aren’t enough, I want you to challenge that! You ARE good enough. Oftentimes, we have a tendency to ruminate on the terrible and unfortunate happenings that occur in our lives. We forget about our successes and the positive impacts that we have left in the world. I am here to remind you that life is more than a compilation of your perceived failures, rare accidents, and stupid mistakes.
Here are some other inspiring words that have helped me when I feel like my best isn’t good enough…
1. Learn to let go of what you can't control
Rejection is nothing more than someone’s opinion and preference. It says as much about the person who gives the rejection as the people who receive it. If someone has spread rumors about you or rejected you based on their opinion, it isn't something you can really change or control. That is part of learning to let go.
2. Hard work WILL pay off, in one way or another.
If you use your rejections as fuel to drive you toward positive accomplishments, someone will realize how incredible you are and the value you bring to their organization. Just because you may have gotten feedback you don’t agree with or that makes you feel shitty, doesn’t mean that everyone else has that same opinion. If you keep trying and working hard, eventually that will all pay off.
3. You can't always get what you want.
Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. Things will happen that don’t make sense or that flat out just SUCK. That is a fact of life. When these things happen, we get experience and appreciate the moments of happiness and joy that much more.
4. You play a role in determining your destiny.
“When something bad happens, you can either let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you.” ~ Dr. Seuss. I always fall back on the saying that life is 10% what happens and 90% how you individually react to the situation. By taking ownership and responsibility when something happens, you grow and are better off because of it.
5. Trying to have a positive outlook can make a HUGE difference.
Acceptance doesn’t mean that you are resignated with what has happened, but rather that you make a strong attempt to change your situation for the better and try to understand things from all points of view. Whatever you are feeling is valid, and you are allowed to feel whatever emotions you may feel. Just remember that there is always another way to view your situation!
6. You are worthy, valuable, and deserving of love.
“Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with pots of gold at both ends. It’s your responsibility, above all, to see your own value.” ~Marc Chernoff. Along with this, don’t forget to fall back on family and friends that support you and value your hard work and dedication.
7. Just because other people are awesome, it doesn't mean that you aren't!
“Only something as insane as human beings would ever asked themselves if ‘I’m good.’ You don’t find oak trees having existential crisis. ‘I feel so rotten about myself. I don’t produce as much acorns as the one next to me.” ~Adyashanti. If you spend your time comparing yourself to others, you forget about your unique qualities and the beauty that they bring to this world!
8. Self-Care is SO important, especially when you are feeling down in the dumps.
Work to find the little things that help you feel better about yourself and take little steps to complete those things.
9. Perfect is impossible.
We’re all human and we all make mistakes. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live YOUR best life. Your past experiences have made you into the person that you are today and you can continue to learn and grow from your mistakes.
10. Maybe you need some redirection...
Take a hard and honest look at your skills and determine if you should be pursuing a different passion. Sometimes the job, career, major, or whatever that we have been working on doesn’t work out in the end. It is okay to admit that you’ve spent some time on the wrong path or maybe took a little side journey in life. The experiences and memories that you’ve gained from this make you who you are and will contribute to bettering you as a person.
Just remember, your best is good enough. Maybe not for your friend or your boss or that online anon who can’t keep out of your personal life. However, you are the master of your life. You are living your own life experience and other’s opinions and observations should only be tools and comments that you can learn and grow from. Your self worth can only be determined by YOU. So when your best isn’t enough, remember that it only needs to be enough for you.
