When I was just a youngster there was so much to look forward to about growing up and all I ever wished was that I was older, more mature, taller and a self-sufficient, responsible adult. And now that I have survived puberty (THANK GOD), I am taller, older, and learning to be a self-sufficient adult. I sometimes (usually) wish I could turn back time, hit pause and stay young forever.

Now don’t mistake me, being on my own and “old” has its benefits. I can go to bed whenever I want. I can eat whatever I want (within reason, of course). I dictate my schedule. I get to make all my own choices and I don’t have my parents looking over my shoulder watching every move I make. And these aspects of growing up are AWESOME. But there are several reasons I frequently wish I could stay young forever.

1. I don’t have my parents watching my every move

Learning to be independent and responsible is so hard. Remembering when bills are due, remembering to always fill up the gas tank, keeping track of car maintenance, cooking for one. These are all things that I never worried about while I was at home with my parents and I am learning that being a responsible human is so hard. And so exhausting.

2. Money

Having a job so I can afford my education, so I can get another job, so I can afford to live my life is exhausting mentally and physically. Thinking about the future and finances and affording things is miserable and scary. Sometimes I just wish my little piggy bank from my childhood was sufficient to get by on, like when all I had to worry about was affording the candy my parents refused to buy me.

3. Relationships

Life was just much simpler when I thought boys had cooties.

4. People expect so much out of young adults

We are expected to go to school, study hard, get good grades, have a job, be involved in some kind of resume-builder, eat healthy, work out regularly and get enough sleep. It is physically impossible to squeeze all that into one day, yet that is what everyone expects. And prioritizing all these things is so so hard.

5. I hate my body

Not the “I look in the mirror and hate what I see” kind of hate-my-body, but the “I have sprained my ankle so many times that it clicks with every step” kind of hate-my-body. After an ungodly amount of sports related injuries, I am a 19-year-old female who complains more about joint pain and aching limbs than her 90-year-old grandmother.

6. Being young and innocent was more fun

People don’t find it odd when children do weird things to express themselves like appearing in public wearing every single pattern known to man. But if I were to walk outside right now in clashing patterns, I would be the laughing stock of campus. Youth live in a much less judgmental world and I envy that beyond words.

7. Young children invent their own worlds and are encouraged to use their imagination in every way possible

As adults, we are encouraged to think outside the box and be imaginative, as long as it’s within reason. If I was to play house or pretend to be fighting dragons now, people would probably ask me what drug I was on. I miss having free range of my imagination.

8. Grade school was easy

College is hard.

Now, I don’t want you to mistake me for a lazy, spoiled, college student who wants the rest of her life handed to her on a silver platter because that is not me. I love what I am studying, I love my independence and am excited to make the jump into the real world and spend the rest of my life doing what I love. But there are so many days when I just want to hide from my responsibilities and lay on the couch, cuddle with my blanket and watch cartoons.